Happy Halloween!

Roman Abramovich's lunch tab

+ extra $5,000 tip = $52,000. That's how much he paid for a 10-person lunch at a fancy restaurant in New York yesterday.

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Cute squirrel cuteing for food

clicky for more

Found here | via

Worst three word phrase ever?

Collected by Jonco from Reddit:

catastrophic bowel movement
14 f cali.
I’m Chris Hansen
is it in?
Let’s be friends
You have AIDS
No internet access
You’re the father
Is that it?
I am pregnant
Gasoline powered asshammer
your brothers’ bigger
bathroom clown surprise
out of beer
no more bacon!
Surprise barbed dildo
Suprise anal sex
Git er done
Bush was right
Four more years!
Church of Scientolog
get yourself checked
Shit. Don’t move!
Great sex, grandma
no toilet paper
you’re being audited
Grab Your Ankles
License and registration
Leave Britney alone!
Shit eating grin
President Sarah Palin

Super fans

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Halloween Twitter costume

Halloween Twitter fail whale hat is a good example of something full of epic win.

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Human-looking plant

Stunned farmer Zheng Dexun dug up a crop of fleeceflower, or Chinese knotweed, and found one shaped like a person, in Langzhong, China. The eerie-looking plant, measuring 62 centimetres tall, has clearly defined arms, legs, and head. Zheng said: "I don't know whether it is good or bad to dig out a Chinese knotweed that looks like a human. I'd better put it back in the earth!" - Link

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Long truck is looooooong!

It only looks really really long. It's actually only really long. There are two trucks there.

From Zsolti's Flickr collection of pics of awesome trucks | via

Two drunk girls vs. grandma and grandpa

Street fighting from Ukraine.

A statue of a really small girl with really big boobs shocks China

Giant breasts shock China:

Parents and teachers in China are protesting after a sculpture of a tiny girl with giant breasts was installed in a city park.

The sculpture depicts a 20cm tall girl with breasts that are five metres high and wide, reports News Express.

Ad for the ladies

It says: "Mothers' favorite present"

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Lil Wayne's head birthday cake

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger's kid turned 14 and this is the cake they made her.

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Robert Pattinson panties

Either way you look at it, this is just wrong!

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Happy Birthday Internet!

It was yesterday, actually. The Internet turned 40.

Late at night on October 29, 1969, a computer in UCLA and one in Stanford were connected through ARPANET. The first message was fairly unceremonious — it was meant to be "login", but the system crashed on the third keystroke. So the first message was, officially, "lo".

The History of the internet 1969 - 2009 gallery is obligatory

Underwater humvee ride

'Off road' can mean a lot of things.

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A true Metallica fan's t-shirt

Available here

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Serial groin-kicker at large

The streets aren't safe anymore. B.C. police seek serial groin-kicker after series of attacks:

Police in Langley are investigating after a woman kicked a man in the groin so hard he lost a testicle -- the latest in a series of similar assaults.

Mr. Clark was walking in the Brookswood area of Langley in early September when he passed his assailant on the sidewalk. "I was looking down and then I took a passing glance and saw her walk up to me," he said. That's when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen.

Constables have told him there have been three or four similar assaults on other men, Mr. Clark said.

The suspect is described as a Caucasian woman, in her late teens or early 20s. She was between five-foot-five and five-foot-seven and 130 pounds with a slim build and brown hair.

Football WTF

Somebody had to tackle him...

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Pumpkin-head Halloween dance

This guy's got all the good moves.


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Police drug-sniffing dog ODs on evidence

A drug-sniffing dog was recovering in a veterinary hospital -- with his human partner at his side -- after accidentally ingesting methamphetamine, KCAL in Los Angeles reported.

Thousand Oaks Senior Deputy Dean Worthy said that Balu, a 4-year-old German shepherd, had been commanded to search for a bag of drugs near where a suspect had dropped something else.

"He did his job," Worthy says. Balu alerted to a bag of meth.

However, Balu must also have inhaled or licked up some remnants from the bag. Hours later, he had a bad reaction.

Worthy said the dog had a seizure in the back of his patrol car that last more than two minutes.

Link (w/ video)

Divorce cakes

More - here

Puppy vs. dandelion

Cutest thing you've seen all week.


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Somali 112-year-old man marries 17-year-old girl

Hundreds of people have attended a wedding in central Somalia between a man who says he is 112 years old, and his teenage wife.

Ahmed Muhamed Dore - who already has 13 children by five wives - said he would like to have more with his new wife, Safia Abdulleh, who is 17 years old.

"Today God helped me realise my dream," Mr Dore said, after the wedding in the region of Galguduud.

The bride's family said she was "happy with her new husband".

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Autistic artist draws New York from memory

Like a Skyline Is Etched in His Head:

In a helicopter above the city on Friday, Stephen Wiltshire of London looked down at the streets and sprawl of New York. He flew for 20 minutes. Since then, working only from the memory of that sight, he has been sketching and drawing a mighty panorama of the city, rendering the city’s 305 square miles along an arc of paper that is 19 feet long. He is working publicly in a gallery at the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn.

Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck (sign language version)

For the hearing-impaired, so they could underastand more than I do what Busta is talking about.

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T-shirt of the day

It answers the question.

Available - here

Disapproving bear is disapproving

ಠ_ಠ

Here's a headline that catches the eye

First, you'll think "I would never go near that thing. It would it my penis", but actually, there's nothing to fear, they just eat each other's penises.

Link (w/ video)

Woman survives high voltage shock

Just like the kid with the taser.

A mid-50`s woman climbed up a high-voltage tower and refused to go down. In arguing and shouting, her finger touched the power line and the electric arc jumped from her hand to her face as if she was bursting into flames. She got better. The firefighters finally got the power down and rescued her off the tower after another 45 minutes of persuasion.

From a distance

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Map of the world necklace

Available - here

The history of birth control

The evolution of birth control in images | via

10 years of Internet video memes re-enactment

Judit & Judit recreate the best memes that have been going around the Internet in last 10 years for a Swedish broadband commercial.

The videos:

Afro Ninja
Ok Go – Here It Goes Again
Mentos and Diet Coke
Star Wars Kid
Chocolate Rain
Nattliv – Mensvärk (Swedish)
Angry Man Computer Smash
Ansiktsburk (Swedish)
Skogsturken (Swedish)
Leave Britney Alone
Dramatic Chipmunk
Keyboard Cat (Ending song)

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The Governor's letter

It was hardly a bill of cosmic import, but Assemblymember Tom Ammiano’s AB 1176 would have helped the Port of San Francisco with some financing issues. It’s the kind of bill that legislators offer on behalf of their cities all the time -- and generally, they are non-controversial. This one was the same -- no substantive opposition, it passed both houses easily -- and normally, the governor would sign it with little fanfare.

But no: Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed the bill -- and sent Ammiano and the legislators a remarkable veto letter. The letter says nothing about the substance of the bill; in fact, the language is really convoluted and it’s hard to figure out what the gov is really saying.

Here it is:


Epic win!

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Hey Jude flowchart

Now it's gonna be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

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Woman swallows an entire canteen of cutlery

Under the knife:

An obsessed 52-year-old woman had to go under the knife - after swallowing an entire canteen of cutlery.

Surgeons in Rotterdam in the Netherlands removed 78 different items of cutlery from Margaret Daalmans' stomach after she came to hospital complaining of tummy pains.

"She seems to have been suffering from some sort of obsession and every time she sat down for a meal she would ignore the food and eat the cutlery," said one medic.

Vulture vs. windmill

Vulture flying around a working windmill. You can imagine what happens.


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How many tats can you put on in 4 weeks?

Funny banner ad is funny.

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Dog poo vs. iRobot mishap

Couple wakes up with a Chevy Malibu in their bed in the middle of the night

Don't you just hate it when that happens? Couple alive after car pins them to bed for almost an hour:

With motor fluid spraying their faces and the weight of a car numbing their bodies, two Nevada college students struggled to stay calm after a drunk driver allegedly tore into their home, ripping them from their slumber.

Kristin Palmer and Trent Wood were asleep in their home last week when a motorist allegedly drove into their bedroom around 4 a.m., mistakenly believing it was his ex-girlfriend's home.

The University of Nevada students spent almost an hour pinned between the car and their bed while emergency workers battled furiously to free them.

Somehow, the two left the scene with relatively minor scrapes and burns -- and a new lease on life, Wood said.

Cognitive dissonance

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Scooby Doo t-shirt of the day

We've got some work to do now on Threadless

My wife thinks I am gay

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Meet the Marker Bandits

They're just like Batman and Robin, only with markers on their faces insetad of real masks. Police: Marker Bandits Arrested:

Police were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle. Inside the car, officers found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker.

Police said the caller described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment Friday night before driving off.

Take a what-a?

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From sober to passed-out drunk in seconds

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Town-sized optical illusion

Last summer, Felice Varini did this installation called “Cercle et suite d’éclats” in Vercorin, Switzerland. The scale of this point of view artwork is very impressive.

More pictures - here | via

Brain task manager

Abstruse Goose | via

Electronic guitar t-shirt

Wearable Rock!


Available here

I love this stick!

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Typecasting

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Reborn as porn

Photoshops of real movie posters as adult movie posters - b3ta challenge: reborn as porn

The B-Team

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Looping water slide in Germany

This is the bungee jumping of water slides.


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Scientology losing ground to Fictionology

LOS ANGELES—According to a report released Monday by the American Institute of Religions, the Church of Scientology, once one of the fastest-growing religious organizations in the U.S., is steadily losing members to the much newer religion Fictionology.

"Unlike Scientology, which is based on empirically verifiable scientific tenets, Fictionology's central principles are essentially fairy tales with no connection to reality," the AIR report read. "In short, Fictionology offers its followers a mythical belief system free from the cumbersome scientific method to which Scientology is hidebound."

Fictionology's central belief, that any imaginary construct can be incorporated into the church's ever-growing set of official doctrines, continues to gain popularity. Believers in Santa Claus, his elves, or the Tooth Fairy are permitted—even encouraged—to view them as deities. Even corporate mascots like the Kool-Aid Man are valid objects of Fictionological worship.

"My personal savior is Batman," said Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Greg Jurgenson. "My wife chooses to follow the teachings of the Gilmore Girls. Of course, we are still beginners. Some advanced-level Fictionologists have total knowledge of every lifetime they have ever lived for the last 80 trillion years."

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Virgin Mary on a bird poop

Here's your freakin' miracle of the day! The image of Virgin Mary appeared on a bird dropping on a pick-up truck.


More about it - here | via

Cookin' with Coolio

Yes, Coolio the rapper. Apparently he's a good cook. He hosted an online cooking show called Cookin' with Coolio and it was such a big hit he released this book: Cookin' with Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price:

Coolio started making thirty-minute meals when he was ten years old and has since developed a whole new cuisine: Ghetto Gourmet. His recipes are built around solid comfort foods with a healthy twist that don't break the bank. Start your Ghetto Gourmet adventure with some "Soul Rolls," follow-up with "Finger-Lickin', Rib-Stickin', Fall-Off-the-Bone-and-into-Your-Mouth Chicken," and fi nish off with "Banana Ba-ba-ba-bread" sweetened with golden honey. Chapters such as "How to Become a Kitchen Pimp," "Chillin' and Grillin'," and "Pasta Like a Rasta" will guide you through creating 5 star meals at a 1 star price. You can't fi nd fusions like Blasian (black Asian) or Ghettalian (ghetto Italian) in restaurants, but you can have them cooking away in your kitchen faster and easier than ordering takeout. As Coolio says, "All you need is a little bit of food, and a little bit of know-how."

Woodpecker fail

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Reptile smuggler caught at the airport

He was smuggling snakes on a plane. Spider alerts customs officials to smuggler who had 24 illegal pythons and geckos taped to his body:

A smuggler has been caught with 14 snakes and ten lizards taped to his body after customs officials spotted a tarantula scurrying around in one of his bags.

The non-venomous royal pythons were rolled up in socks and taped to his torso. The albino leopard geckos were in little boxes strapped to his legs.

Not any kind of solicitors

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When you gota go...

Wee've all been in this situation. But not all of us have handeled it this well.


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Picture of the day: grieving chimpanzees

This extraordinary photo taken by Monica Szczupider at the Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Centre in eastern Cameroon shows a family of grief-stricken chimpanzees mourning the death of a fellow ape named Dorothy.

Is this haunting picture proof that chimps really DO grieve?

Woman acts like a dog to scare a suspicious man off

Police say Ga. woman scared off burglar by scratching door and acting like a large dog:

Police are investigating after an Athens woman scared off a would-be burglar by acting like a dog. The Athens Banner-Herald reported Monday that the woman scared off the suspect around 11 p.m. Saturday. According to police, the woman got on the floor and began scratching at the door and acting like a large dog when the suspicious man tried turning the woman's door knob.

Goatse, the choice of a new generation

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Teenager falls through the roof 4 times

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The movies of Wes Anderson

If you haven't seen any of these, you should.


And the latest, Fantastic Mr. Fox.

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Awesome t-shirt design: The Horde

"This design is an homage to a bunch of different zombie related influences: Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of The Dead, The Evil Dead, Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil and MJ's Thriller to name a few. I imagine this guy is probably making a last stand as a distraction whilst his friends get to the chopper."

Available here

Sad rat stuck in the sidewalk photoshops

Remember the sad picture of a rat stuck in a sidewalk? Well, the Internet has updated itself since then. Here are some more photoshops of this image.

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