12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

Thursday, February 4, 2010

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.


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262 comentarii:

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Anonymous said...

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

So, when I read the first sentence I thought you were another blockheaded homophobe. But this is great!!

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Anonymous said...

i only agree with the 5th one because
most people get a divorce before they even try to save the marriage when it really can work and i believe the wife and husband both should claim each other but this post is soooo pointless your just saying this stuff to be sarcastic its not funny, some people do think like that and its ok its their point of view people can change over time if they want to or not.

Anonymous said...

For a start the world doesn't need more children the population growth is increasing all the time. Secondly many straight parents raise homosexual children, as if god were to exist adam and eve the first parents were not homosexual so therefore when did and how would the birth of homosexuality take place using your ridiculous theory.And this, "way that hanging around tall people will make you tall" BULLSHIT!!!!
addressing point 6 if you geneuinly believe that that would make you support/be comfortable with an unjust system, and hereby how would that make something morally correct.
Finally whats to say that homosexuality is more normal than the straight counter-part how do you know. You speek of literal scientific logic however this point(one) is based on something purely metaphorical BS that you probably read in you little bible.

The way you conduct yourself is distgusting,
Life is precious...Don't spend yours being wrong!

Anonymous said...

TOOO TRUE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

WELL done looks like someone was put in their place!

Anonymous said...

guys, this was obviously a joke... if you guys can't see that, YOU'RE the ones that are total dumbfucks, not the writer...

Anonymous said...

That was amazing. It is sad that some people on here think you were being serious. What does that say about our society...

Anonymous said...

wow.. i think some people didnt realize this was a joke? ... how stupid do u feel when you fight sarcasm lol.. it really shows how silly people are.

Anonymous said...

I loled at 4 and 8... I seriously cannot believe some of you took this seriously, I mean come on...

Anonymous said...

It's hilarious (but also a little sad) that a great majority of the people here do not realize this is a joke. It's on many websites posted sarcastically.
#8 is funny. :) It is true, though, because hanging around squirrels will turn you into a squirrel. <-- sarcasm
This is a really funny stab at homophobes! Bravo!

orangemr said...

is this a joke?

Anonymous said...

well obviously straight parents can have gay children because look at me dick face. gay people want to be together because they deeply love each other not for sex like you straight people do or for kids. And i am quite sure that gay parents could raise a straight child. Your children are what they want. I am going to laugh my face off when your children are homosexuals! gay marriage will be meaningful because they want to get married, and people wouldn't stop marrying straight people anyway. there will always be straight people and there will always be gay people. its a fact that you CAN NOT change no matter how many laws there are. we will still be together. i really think something is wrong with you because women are no body's proporty. i don't see a sold sign on my forehead do i? no. and if you are talking about religion then did you know that there we're homosexuals back in the time of jesus (so says the bible). and people are gay by choice. i am not asking other people to be gay we are just asking for our rights to be together just like you can be with who you want to be with. and i have succedded just fine without a male charachter in my life. i never had a dad and i don't care if i ever will. and obviously states can adapt to gay marriage because some already have and have you noticed that they are doing better than the states that haven't legalized gay marriage yet?

Anonymous said...

Marriage- the social institution under which a MAN and WOMAN establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

Anonymous said...

its funny how people diddnt get the real point lol this shit was great and im useing it on my argumentive paper at school

Anonymous said...

You honestly think repeating this all over the internet will convince people to believe that being homosexual is wrong? There are so many reason why homosexual marriage should be legalized but there are only a few reasons you guys state why homosexual marriage is wrong which is sad because you guys feel so strongly about it but only share with each other the same reasons over and over in stead of having good reasons to why homosexuals shouldn't marry.

Anonymous said...

You guys are very stupid, whoever is pissed about this blog. CLEARLY this poster is making a point to ANTI-GAY people that THEIR reasons for people being against gays is WRONG. If you couldn't tell just by reading it, you're either extremely naive, extremely stupid, or extremely sensitive.

Anonymous said...

you are out of your god damn mind

Anonymous said...

haha....i gotta say, it was a lot funnier reading everyone's comments than it was reading the 12 reasons up there. stupid people are so amusing.

Anonymous said...

This post is pro gay marriage. It sarcastically mocks all the reasons why gay marraige should not be allowed. This was actually written by university of florida students for lgbt day. I find it humorous.

Anonymous said...

I will marry john someday and we shall not illegal..i love being gay

Anonymous said...

This is horrible. I'm for same-sex marriage all the way. I hate how I have to write an essay on why it should stay illegal. But seriously this list is worong.

Anonymous said...

this is the slowest shit i have read in my life. if you want to live this way go back in time.

Anonymous said...

you know it's people like you that make me want to blow a hole through your brain and have your religion corrupted mind disposed of...just saying

Kappy said...

Are you effin serious? you STILL don't see this is a joke? Re-read it again and think "this is a pro-gay list" and you will see it IS. Really you don't see it? They're saying anti-gay people think gays shouldn't be married because of children they can't have (even though infertile couples and old people CAN be married and they can't produce so what's the difference?)

Or saying that in America we only have one religion (this is a joke because anyone who knows America knows it's the land of the free and home of the brave. the constitution even says practice right to free religion. the fact that we have multiple in America means that to this poster it's retarded to have opinions on gay marriage based on one religious background because it's also the separation of church and state.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what's funnier, the post or the comments. How old are the people that took this seriously? 4?

Anonymous said...

Also point out that the people who took it seriously didn't know how to use proper English or grammar.

Anonymous said...

I love how some of the people commenting on this don't realize it's sarcasm. This is wonderful!

Anonymous said...

If your basis for promoting gay marriage lies in the above lame brained excuses you have problems. First off I would like to say that most straight people dont really think about what the homosexual community is actually doing 1. Coming in contact with feces on a regular basis
2. demoralizing the very constitution on which our country was founded 3. if you think our country was not founded on god and the bible you are in serious trouble go ahead and take god out of the equation and see what happens to our country you never know maybe a dog or pet being able to sign a contract for marriage will be legal I mean after all we are actually considering making gay marriage legal and that is just a preposterous!!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should point out that you are really for gay marriage as opposed to it? Very misleading.... Gay marriage should not be allowed just for the fact that it conflicts with religion. Our country is founded on the concept that we are free to do as we please. Obviously homosexuality is a freedom we have but the institution that makes marriage legal is the government.... the government defines a marriage as a man and woman. not two men or two women. obviously procreation has a lot to do with this... Does not being married affect a homosexuals love?

koko said...

over 10,000 cases of gay bashing is reported each year, thanks to gay rights activists making people think that being gay is alright. i guess this proves them wrong.

Anonymous said...

YOU LOT MUST BE AMERICAN . YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM

Anonymous said...

YOU LOT MUST BE AMERICAN . YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM

Anonymous said...

this is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL This is the funniest !
hahahah these are actually some shit reasons they try to give for not being able to get married. Then their reasons are just juxtaposed everyday, like Britney Spears' 55 hour marriage.

Anonymous said...

This is really offensive. I am gay and happy with my partner. We wish to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. I dont' want to have to call him my partner. I wanna call him my husband <3

Anonymous said...

LOLz

Anonymous said...

one reason y people go for gays: disagreeing with God.
where did you hear that a famous gay person had a great life and died in grate piece?.. why are people going against nature!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Learn SARCASM, idiots

props to the author. will be saving this to use against the homophobic fundies

Anonymous said...

:) i do believe there will be marriages with pets soon.. since many ppl started threating their pets like kids... many replace kids with dogs for example.

Anonymous said...

People who can't use punctuation or even come close to proper grammar, should be allowed to marry. :0p

Anonymous said...

LOL!! I meant should NOT be allowed to marry !!!!

Anonymous said...

You cant legalize gay marriage because of the straight line cube power interfering with the narrow cubic sphere of the homosexual belief.

Anonymous said...

Wow , is all I can say. I can see if someone read this, and thought this was anti gay. But, wouldn't you eventually catch on??..wow!

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness, I love this post. It makes my gay heart happy. I honestly don't know how people don't recognize this as satire. Thanks for all the silly comments, people ;D

Anonymous said...

This is sarcasm, it is a joke and it actually makes me lose faith in humanity to see people thinking that the writer is being serious

Anonymous said...

Wait. People are complaining that this guy is a stupid homophobe who is using illogical arguments????

THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT. Sarcasm, my dear, learn it.

This is pointing out the flaws in arguments that are often made *against* gay marriage.

You are raging against the wrong person, silly.

Anonymous said...

People people, chill the fuck out. Jesus. Haha, don't take a satirical piece, a fantastic one that is, so seriously. Sheesh. I liked it. :]

Anonymous said...

this brings to light how painfully uneducated so many people are, I was always told that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, if that's true then how STUPID are all the people that didn't even realize it was a joke? it's the same kind of stupidity that drives the gay-hatred that this article is trying to ridicule. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HUMOUR IMBECILES.

Anonymous said...

U guys r taking this way tooooo serious....

Anonymous said...

If a woman can sign a marriage contract I don't see why a dog can't. Not only is the dog smarter but it's less likely to get rabies and when you do you can shoot it.

Anonymous said...

For those of you who think this is a anti-gay post, re-read the post and draw the correct conclusion = THIS IS PRO GAY MARRIAGE! The twelve reasons listed are very common statements by a lot of ignorant people about why gay marriage should be illegal...but the author of this post is just drawing attention to how utterly ridiculous those reasons are. THE AUTHOR IS BEING SARCASTIC. Go back and read it with that in mind...

Fateema said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

If ya have ta explain it, it ain't a joke.

Anonymous said...

1. HOUSES and CARS and FOOD aren't natural...(implies that who ever wrote this is a robot)
2. It's called SPREM AND EGG DONATION and the world is OVERPOPULTAED ENOUGH(Implies that who ever wrote this is LONELY)
3. MAN and WOMAN = BABY, A GAY BABY (implies that who ever wrote this wishes they could fall in love)
4. Marriage is marriage, not Gay marriage and STRAIGHT marriage (Implies that who ever wrote this is in love with their 22nd cousin, through BLOOD)
5. Marriage is nothing but a pen and paper...Brunttes CANNOT marry brunttes...NO ONE in MARRIAGE is HAPPY (Implies that who ever wrote this is a offended by the many different BREEDS of DOGS)
6. FREE COUNTRY!!!!!!!! (Implies that who ever wrote this was kicked out of their house is living in a box)
7. Babies are GREEDy. Protesting against this is WRATHing. Sin is not supported either... (Implies that who ever wrote this thought the world was really gonna end on May 21st)
8. You are what you eat. You eat what you are. I'm 4'9 and all my friends and family are, 5'5... (Implies that who ever wrote this is a shape-shifter)
9. Incest? That's is ok though, because it's supported by religion (Implies that who ever wrote this lost their virginty to a sibling)
10. Only lived with mom my whole life...STRAIGHT (Implies that who ever wrote this is disliked by EVERYONE in the family...even their 22nd cousin and their viriniy taking sibling)
11. I don't really see how marriage changes anything...except one more tree killed because the couple decided to divorce eight years later... (Implies that who ever wrote this HASN't changed since they broke their arm after falling off their dinosaur)
12. What happened to Equal rights? (Implies that who ever wrote this fears everything that's the same...meaning...HUMANKIND...TWO PENCILS...TWINS...and THEIR REFELCTION because there is now TWO)

:D This WHOLE list of reasons why is should be illegal made me laugh because of what it was implying!! Enjoy my reasons of why these reasons are STUPID...

Anonymous said...

hahahaha scroll below to find both heterosexual and homosexual folks not understanding that it is a joke on the ideas of right wing republicans, laughed while i was reading the 12 reasons, shit my pants when i found people getting upset and taking the post in a serious manner

pwl said...

‎13. Canada proved that gay marriage doesn't work as the country has been engaged in civil war for the past seven years and is all but utterly destroyed itself since gay marriage became legal.

Anonymous said...

sarcasm is dead. i weep for our future

Anonymous said...

how are most of you even smart enough to use a computer but you can't even read?

Anonymous said...

Bravo, well done.

What is sad is the number of people who posted vicious and frighteningly ignorant comments on here. Clearly they have never heard of black humor or sarcasm, or haven't the ability to not interpret things literally.
Hmmm, this won't help will it? I have the feeling that words with too many syllables will also confound and offend them.
At any rate, nicely done.

Anonymous said...

Woah, that's good satire. Bloody excellent work. Some of the commenters in this thread need to learn what satire is however.

Anonymous said...

GOD BLESS THE USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anonymous said...

This is Pro Gay Marriage lol not anti

Anonymous said...

I think the lesson here is that, gay or straight, there are stupid people everywhere. This was satire, and very good satire in my opinion. Kudos for pointing out the ridiculousness of the arguments against legalizing same-sex marriage. I am straight, but not narrow!

RangBacon said...

It's no coincidence that the people commenting negatively on this thread sound like uneducated fools, but I wonder if we are any better for pointing out their shortcomings. I wish it wasn't so darn amusing to make fun their ignorance.

Anonymous said...

Jebus. Frankly, people who can't work out humour shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. :\

Anonymous said...

people are so stupid! this was great!

Anonymous said...

READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING:

JUST TO BE CLEAR. THIS POST IS PURELY SARCASM. OBVIOUSLY, THIS PERSON IS PRO-GAY RIGHTS. SO STOP GETTING YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST, CALM DOWN, AND READ THE POST. IT'S AMAZING.

Anonymous said...

This post is a riot!!! As for the gigantic proportional blowout, I have only 1 thing to say, if you don't like it, don't do it!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!

Anonymous said...

To everyone who is being. "You're all wrong, gays are okay." Blah, Blah, blah... This is meant to be a joke. It's pretty much saying the bull-shit reasons for illegal gay marriage is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

hahhaha, epic. from now on, even though it shuld be obvious, post "THIS IS SARCASM" if youre beeing sarcastic. And to all the ppl who didnt understand this post. Please refrain from reproducing, or marrying homo/hetro. Thank you

Anonymous said...

Lotta derps here don't get sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

the sad part is the retards posting here do not realize the writer is clearly supportive of gay marriage and made each part a sarcastic version of normal points made by religious weirdos who think gay people are going to hell.

IT WAS A JOKE PEOPLE. READ IT CAREFULLY AND ITS OBVIOUS!

Anonymous said...

To the guy or gal that said they should put a "this is sarcasm" disclaimer at the top of the page:

I've found this list in several places over the last year or so (as I've searched it to show every person I can think of), and many of those places have in fact included very obvious "this is sarcasm" or "this is satire" type headings...and there were still pages upon pages of people getting angry at the injustice and insensitivity of this post. Apparently even being blatantly obvious and spelling it out just isn't enough for some people.

I don't understand how somebody could even get through #1 without realizing it's satirical. The Onion must be so disappointed.

Anonymous said...

To everyone who seems to think this is serious or anti-gay, instead of pro-gay satire making fun of the anti-gay arguments:

You probably think the Colbert Report is actually a serious right-wing news show. It's the exact same kind of humour (and some of these have actually been used on that show, I believe).

Anonymous said...

Well, I guess it's nice that so many people want to defend gay marriage but... you guys really need to learn when someone is being serious and when they're not! Lets applaud their good intentions though, eh folks?! ;)

Anonymous said...

"Bawk Bawk" "I am a moo cow"~anti gay rights

"What an Idiot"~PRO GAY RIGHTS

Anonymous said...

While I appreciate a good satire, this one completely misses its mark for several reasons.

1: The only reason government has its hand in marriages at all is for two reasons- taxes, and property division in the case of a divorce, which a staggering percentage of marriages end in.

2: Following that point 1 is correct, let's take a step down another related path of logic- "Marriage" is a religious institution. It originates with religious institutions. Those who want to be "married" by in a religious institution are incorrect in seeking the government to make it allowed or disallowed either way- when you seek to partake in a religious tradition, it is on you to follow the traditions of that religious institution, [i]regardless of whether or not you find the logic of those traditions bigoted or not.[/i] You do not walk into planned parenthood and scream for them to teach abstinence only- therefore, you do not walk into the catholic church and demand they allow gay marriages. (You can, but it's about as effective as pouring water on an oil fire.)

3: Following the logic of point 2, Civil Unions should exist within the government's jurisdiction, with EXACTLY the same legal rights and privileges afforded to a heterosexual married couple, including how property and assets are split up in a divorce.

4: Gay people who want the government to compel the church to allow them to be married are stupid. So are religious fanatics who want the government to disallow civil unions with identical privileges. Both are seeking to infringe on each others rights- the right of the Church to follow a tradition that's thousands of years old, and the right of the people to sleep with and share their lives with whomever they damn well please.

That is all.

Anonymous said...

OKAY PEOPLE Before you go post your angry comment read this again with a sarcastic voice. Why? IT'S A JOKE. It's mocking homophobic logic.
And if you didn't get it was a joke than WTF you're stupid. "since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful" DUH! Sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

Sick brain deliver sick logic. That's called free country.

Anonymous said...

so im guessing half of the world doesn't understand sarcasm.... this is clearly a pro-gay marriage post.
i can't believe that anyone would be confused, the fact that multiple people didn't understand is mind-blowing.

Anonymous said...

Reading the comments on this makes me want to repeatedly BANG MY HEAD UPON A BRICK WALL.

HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE SARCASM IN THIS?????

The writer's of this list are PRO-GAY marriage! Open your eyes, open your mind, your ignorance is completely humiliating. I'm truly embarrassed for you. It is commenters like you who live up to Idiocracy in real life.

Anonymous said...

Just a question, everyone posting here has read this right? I mean really read this? Some of you clearly haven't. I appreciate the title may be inflammatory to some, but just because some individuals turn off their brain to ignorance doesn't mean you have an excuse to. The author is clearly parodying the commonly given reasons against gay marriage.

Nothing shows ignorance, more than the self righteous attitudes some have taken to a legitimate and entertaining blog post.

Anonymous said...

you still dont do some sarcastic shit like that.
people have freakinq feelings.
its just like practically lauqhinq at blacks for beinq slaves, or lauqhinq at whites for havinq lice, its just not riqht.

Anonymous said...

To the people calling the person that wrote this a homophobe and that their reasons made no sense to ban gay marriage... Have you ever heard of sarcasm. The author is using sarcasm to prove a point that the reasons people give against gay marriage are actually unfounded even for straight people. The person is ridiculous the reasons people give as to why gay ppl shouldn't marry by using sarcasm to point out that the reasons they use against it would also apply to straight people therefore banning gay marriage in the end makes as much sense as banning straight marriage. Read it properly and don't base judgement by a title. You can't judge a book by its cover Remember.
SKLC

Adam said...

who ever wrote this or agrees to this has to be the most ignorant people I've ever heard. every number on there is flawed and can be disproved. homosexuality has been around just as long as hetero. divorced parents raise kids just as well as married dysfunctional parents. The majority of people agree with equal rights for all man kind. if homosexuality wasn't natural then it wouldn't exist. Celeb marriages are not done with love but publicity and mental illness; unlike gay/straight marriage that is true.
ps IM STRAIGHT AND I AM FOR GAY MARRIAGE!

Anonymous said...

There are a few fallacies in your reasoning (Mind you I stand neutral to this topic).
1. Unlike gay marriage, the things that you named as unnatural actually help people. (Except for polyester, but that should probably be illegal, anyway.)
4. That particular marriage was annulled, showing how "meaningful" it actually was. It's no longer actually considered a marriage.
7. There isn't only one religion that opposes homosexual tendencies. Most mainstream monotheistic religions consider homosexuality as a sin. The religion to which you're (no doubt) referring to only considers it a sin, while some others actually put people to death for it.
8. Homosexuality is a behavior, unlike growing taller. That's genetic. And saying that homosexuality is also a gene is slightly discriminatory, since homosexuality can be considered maladaptive behavior under psychological definition and thus would make it a mutation or abnormality.
9. People are not so much worried about human-to-animal marriages as they are about polygamy and incest. Your sister can sign a marriage just as well as any other women. And so can three women at the same time.
10. Kids raised by single parents often feel like there's a missing person in their life and usually fill in the missing parent role with another role model. This shouldn't be argued with single parents, but instead with the fact that it's about two parents being to raise a child well, not just one.
12. Separate but equal laws never actually stayed true to their names; they were never. If gay marriages were just put under a different title that is inoffensive to most religions and gave the same exact benefits (written out clearly in the law, which the Jim Crow laws did not), it would be fine. Quote Shakespeare: "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet."

All your other arguments were fine (at least I didn't find anything wrong with them. But give them to a pro. I'm just a high school kid researching for debate class).

Anonymous said...

this is so cleverly written! good work

Anonymous said...

n im a high schooler researchin too

Anonymous said...

Lmao.

Anonymous said...

Plus, we are not in the 1900s anymore. Go screw jump off a cliff.

Anonymous said...

oh funny guy, come back to reality all of you.

Anonymous said...

that awkward moment when sarcasm doesn't reach many people...

Anonymous said...

Oh, my God! What is wrong with you people!? This is SATIRE! It's SARCASM! Stop calling someone insults and slanderous words while you're too ignorant to realize this wasn't serious and was making a point through sarcasm!!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL congrats u got trolled! haha this made my day

Anonymous said...

At first i though this was serious and was like D:< but then i got to 5 and was like lol
Pro gay marriage!

Anonymous said...

It is truly scary that some morons thought this was an anti-gay post. Proves my theory that there are total idiots all around us, all the time. Walking around as if they were normal. Talking and consuming and wasting space.

Anonymous said...

The moment i read old people can't get married i lol'd. Well played good sir.
Trololololo.....

Anonymous said...

haha i laughed at all of the points...silly people

Brisa Rios said...

This is great. Who is the author i would love to use it in my research paper?

Julie said...

Why is it that every time this post shows up, people don't get it? Do that many people really think somebody who knows the word "theocracy" somehow doesn't know that America isn't one? Or "hanging around tall people will make you tall"—is there anyone in the WORLD stupid enough to make that claim earnestly? This is even less subtle than Swift's "Modest Proposal."

Actually, there are people who think Swift is serious too. Oh lord.

Anonymous said...

Oh man.... The people who don't get that this is a joke are perhaps funnier than this post.

Anonymous said...

how are people not getting that THIS IS SATIRICAL! in translation, the guy is PRO gay marriage... wow.

Anonymous said...

Gee, isn't this bullcrap? If anything, you guys should know that these reasons are true, whether the writer's being sarcastic or not. I mean, just encouraging homosexuality has brought upon crazy antics in the world. One day, the US is going to have a gay president, and there will be homosexual characters in kids cartoons, which will encourage homosexuality at a younger age. Heck, maybe even heterosexual marriage will be illegal, and to have children, you will be forced to donate to a sperm bank, because that's what the world is coming to.

Anonymous said...

"Straight parents only raise straight children."

Since when has that been true???

Anonymous said...

is there something wrong with you..

Anonymous said...

gay is awsome!

Anonymous said...

OMFG!!! It's the stupidest thing I've read in my life DX

Anonymous said...

one of the posts says 3.Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children you are either ignorant or un educated in society. im bi sexual and from strait parents know your facts before you tell the world you opinion.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahaha, this is brilliant! The comments of people taking this seriously just make it funnier :')

Anonymous said...

1.There is a difference between people and commodities
2.People can will themselves to be gay at anytime. Short people can’t will themselves to be tall
3.Just because dogs don’t have legal standing now doesn’t mean they won’t have it in the future. Remember blacks didn’t have legal standing 100 years ago but they do now. Oh, should a quadriplegic not be able to marry if they can’t “sign” the marriage contract?
4.Answered in #3
5.Just because I steal money doesn’t mean that I lessen the value of people who work for theirs.
6.Straight marriages are still valid even if they can’t reproduce. That would be like saying a human isn’t a human unless they have all their appendages.
7.Children become adults and make their own decisions.
8.If the law is greater than religion then why bring this up? Religion to you is like an opinion of how to run a household.
9.Children do better when their is a mom and dad who participate in rearing the child.
10.Gay marriage isn’t an innovation that makes our lives all the better.

Anonymous said...

Here's a blogpost on why gay marriage should be legal: astarlives.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

This is the most rude website i have ever seen. Some of you people might not take this matter seriously, but you really should. These "reasons" are so hurtful! What if someone who is gay saw this? How would you feel about yourself then? Think about what you're saying. Just think.

Anonymous said...

Lol I thought this was funny. Especially since I kept saying wrong after I every reason. Especially point one, if it weren't natural explain why bonobos dolphins penguins and a whole list of animals practice homosexuality. Also adding to point one. To be fair marriage isn't exactly natural either, I mean you don't see an animal wedding with an alter and the whole "here comes the bride" in a very lion kingy way lol. No their all polygamous the just pick a female and breed.

Anonymous said...

i love this

Anonymous said...

This is the Most useless and rude ive ever seen. Reading this made me really mad. Each reason i red made me angrier. I can't believe how someone can post something like this... Go to hell!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hysterical!

Anonymous said...

You truly are an idiot, did you know that?

3.Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

FALSE. Moron. I know many gay people with STRAIGHT parents. Seriously, how dumb are you?

Anonymous said...

7.Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America


Have you ever heard of the Bill of Rights? Have you ever heard the phrase "separation of church and state?"

I feel sorry for you hun.

jessi said...

It was a joke..the whole thing...they were being sarcastic...wow

fart poop said...

so, by reading a majority of the comments on this blog i've concluded that:
everyone in the world is stupid and i should just shoot myself now

You are all morons. said...

Fuck me, half the people posting on this blog are seriously retarded. If you didn't instantly get the sarcasm from this post, then you don't deserve to have a say one way or another on gay rights.

This is a basic failure to read between the lines for a great number of people on here, and it is actually scary more than anything else to think that at least some of you will be old enough to vote.

And yeah, 'fart poop' I totally agree: I should probably just shoot myself now than have to suffer idiocy like this any longer.

Anonymous said...

LOOOL...wow. reading people's comments make me weep for humanity. BTW, loved the way you wrote this b/c this sarcastic style really exemplified the stupidity of people who are against gays :) GOOD JOB!

Anonymous said...

At first I was like holy cow! What a rude and insensitive person, but then I realized this was satire and it was freakin hilarious!!! This is just awesome!!! Kudos!!!(:

Anonymous said...

It's a joke. Chill. That's why the author said that. To make fun of people against gay marriage

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. It's sad that this reflects peoples actual views. I love whoever wrote this. People should be smart enough to know it is a joke.

Anonymous said...

Listen, this is all a bunch of b.s! Most of this is baiased on a political view and a bibilical strictly christan point of view. People who keep saying " oh this is just a joke, be smart" well i dont think its funny at all,because honestly not only is it saying gay marriage is unatural, BUT its also saying that different races or people of anything different shouldnt be together. AND that women are property. What are we in the 1800's, women have achived a mass amount of things and statsitics show that more women are smarter than men. Im not the type of person who is all men are horrible the bible is horrible and the government sucks, IM a christan, i am related to people who are different races AND who are gay. I think love is love and it doesnt matter what age,race,gender, or anything. And the people who disagree should just mind their own buisness dont ruin it for anybody, because I hope the people who make fun of other people should feel horrible! I know that people are also intitled to their own opinion, but this opinion is violating basically everyone in todays world and possibly future. SO thats my opinion and also by the way stop bashing people on the internet!!!

Anonymous said...

This is complete bullshit. How is one person's preferences your busniess in the first place, let alone who or what gave your the idea that you matter enough to write this? This should be called 12 examples of close-minded dipshits who are presenting the past relavations of people who acted like this; and guess what? Their kind is either: A) Extinct and forgotten, or B) Illegal to practice their beliefs publicly. So to whomever thinks that this is right or funny. Your beliefes may be wrong to someone else; but you don't see them criticizing you. Along with who the fuck would think that women are property or ANYTHING to it? What in the hell made you think of this??? You are NO better then anyone else in this world!! You are actually lower then anything you could possibly think of JUST for THINKING your worth more then anyone or anything!!

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOL BIAESED

Katey said...

wait is this a joke?

Anonymous said...

The comments on this post are ridiculous; how can you NOT see that the author is pro gay marriage? The author's throwing the arguments most homophobes have back in their faces! Come on people!

As a side note, the commenters saying that being gay is a sin? So is wearing clothes of mixed materials, like cotton shirt and a silk tie, and eating shellfish. Let's be real, the Bible was written by mankind, not by God. Give it a rest already.

Raz said...

The same old indoctrination from the simple minded with delusions of grandeur.

Anonymous said...

So there are a LOT of STUPID people who read this. It's called SARCASM this list is poking fun at how absolutely ludicrous gay marriage bans are. WOW iintelligence is in short supply today. Thank you and goodnight.

Anonymous said...

You COMPLETELY forget that there are MANY valid reasons that we with values can give for the abolition of gay marriage:
1. The Bible is not wrong. Face it.
2. Marriage is by definition a religious term; using LITERAL terminology, the only kind of marriage occurs between a man and a woman.
3. Gay couples cannot produce children and depend on adoption, which forces children who have been abandoned to live in a household with only one kind of parent.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe you!!! first off, some of your information is totally WRONG! secondly, as long as they are American, they have just as many rights as every one else including, freedom of religion which is what America is all about. the entire reason for the Europeans coming to America during Columbus' time was so they can have religious freedom. and with all these religions around to mess with gays rights i don't see any "Religious Freedom". taking away the right for gays to marry is totally unjustified and un-American in every way. your so called "reasons" why gay marriage should be illegal, aren't all even true. and what if there is an atheist whose gay who wants to get married; this means they don't believe in the religions that call gay marriage a sin, is he/she just not allowed to get married because of something that they DON'T believe. now i think that's extremely unfair for them. and whatever happened to EQUAL RIGHTS?? did they just fly out a window when the debate of gay marriage came up? this is such a load of bullcrap that i can't even believe i wasted my time reading this!!!!! just think about what you said and put yourself in their shoes. would you want to be treated like a low class citizen just because of your sexual preference? i know i wouldn't. so why should they??

Anonymous said...

THAT IS THE POINT... to show how absurd these ideas are through satire! Satire is one of the most witty and intelligent ways to offer social criticism and those who can't recognize this are of painfully limited intelligence. So sad :(

Anonymous said...

This information is obviously biased and false!
Come on people this is the 21st century be a little open minded and not such ignorant pricks.

Anonymous said...

I read this thinking "oh hey, there might be some valid points in here. I wanna see the counter argument to gays being able to get married"
Well, was I wrong. Not all of this is insane, but comparing 2 people of the same gender to a human and an animal getting married doesn't even make sense. Weather you are gay or not, you're a human. A human with the right to free will, just like "God" wanted us to have right? Another thing is you claim that if we let gays get married it might open to other crazy behavior. I thought marriage is supposed to be about love, respect, all that jazz, if 2 people, regardless of sex are in love, who are we to stop them? Also, we really don't need more Children on this earth. That's why China has the 1 child rule, though they might claim to be an Atheist Country, that's besides the point, its getting much to packed. We do not need more people, we are already over flowing. If you dont like gay people, fine, if you believe you should live by the bible, so be it. To each their own, but when you try to stand between millions of peoples happiness, how is their love worth less than Straight people's? Also, I would LOVE to know how gay Marriage would influence people to be gay? If by that you mean for people to come out of the closet and actually be happy, than yes, you're probably right, but other than that, being gay is not something people do willingly, they dont think "Oh hey, I think I want to be gay" That's why a lot of gay teenagers freak out and deny themselves a lot when they first have these gay feelings, (well with people I know thats how it usually is) saying someone is worth less than you because of their sexual orientation that's insane, I keep hearing this "God loves everyone the same" type of thing, but its getting harder, and harder to believe.

Anonymous said...

This is a satirical post. It's all sarcasm. Too bed you can't see that.

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for gays. We should help them get through whatever traumatic event happened to them in their life to make them turn gay. I know they claim to be 'born this way' but anyone with a brain knows that to be false. 'gays' deserve a chance at life too, we just need to help them..

Anonymous said...

sooo all your reasons about why it should be illegal are right. it should be. just leave the first sentences of all these reasons and you have a lot of good points!

Anonymous said...

sooo all your reasons about why it should be illegal are right. it should be. just leave the first sentences of all these reasons and you have a lot of good points!

Anonymous said...

god made adam and eve not adam and steve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is beyond stupid.

Anonymous said...

dude, before writing dis kind of shit maybe u should upsate u freaking brain, you r still on d 18 century. first of all divorce is legal, women r not fraking object and someday they will outdo all d men and third black, and asians have as much right as white people do. by d way the straight parents coment is incredibly ridiculous, if straghtpeople raise straight children den were do gay people come from? an egg or they just appeared? all those people comefrom straight parents and i am pretty sure gay people can raise straght children. also the tall people coment is the most riduculous one i should say i have a friend who hangs with rally tall people but heisreally short, then wat can u say about dat, i am friend with gay peopleand i am pretty straight. maybe you haventadapted to things bcause ur brain does notwork but iam very adapted to the technology today.Speaking about d bible didnt d biblesay thatwe shouldnt discriminate and everybody r brother n sisters?wellreligious dude those gays r as well bros and sis. Also fyi african-americans havebeen studying in the same school as whites for year next time u coment make sure 2 use your brain (of course if u have one) and do a littleresearch about wat u r writtingabout (of course if u can adapt better 2 d internet) retarded.

Anonymous said...

A) yes, I know this article was a joke
B) I honestly agree, whoever wrote this is very funny
C) No, I do not beleive gay marriage is correct
D) I find it comical that those who agree with gay marriage constantly refute the resoning of those of us who do not, yet they do not supply reasoning explaining why gay marriage is right. "Because we love each other" is based on the same unsteady argument that zoophilia and poligamy are based off of: laws cannot restrict love. States have the right to disallow cousins and siblings to marry, why not gay marriage?
E) A man and a woman who are barren are different than a homosexually oriented couple. Not being able to procreate because of medical reasons is a rare and an unintentional happening. Homosexually oriented couples willingly entering into a relationship knowing that their sexual intercourse could not under any circumstance, result in a child.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand. This isn't your frickin problem so don't make it a problem for other people

Anonymous said...

I Am amazed that people don't realise that this is a joke. Even more amazed that after reading comments in which people told them that it is a joke, their response is "Well it is not funny! It is offensive to gay people" etc. You misunderstood once again. This is indeed a joke. NOT a joke making fun of gay people, but a joke making fun of the reasons people give to oppose same sex marriage. These "top reasons" are common reasons that people use to oppose same sex marriage, but this article ridicules the "reasons" and points out how invalid these reasons are. Especially obvious in reasons 4 and 5. To those offended by this - thank you for defending same sex marriage, but please re-read these top 12 reasons and try to note the sarcasm. This writer is ON OUR SIDE. This article is PRO-SAME-SEX-MARRIAGE.

Anonymous said...

Lots of you guys don't seem to realize that this is satire! It's hilarious and awesome and, in fact, intentionally makes a bunch of really good points in favor of gay marriage's legalization.

PS. You really should learn to recognize satire and sarcasm

Anonymous said...

Did nobody actually get that this was mocking homophobic views, not enforcing them?
This is brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Believe in the list but blacks marry whites ALL THE TIME

Benavidez4233 said...

Seriously people. Gay marriage is so wrong. Forget the trying to be hip and cool. Gay marriage is wrong for every reason posible. Just cuz you love somone doesn't make it right. Being gay period is wrong. What if the entire world was gay? If I loved a 5 year old kid and she loved me, would it be right for us to be together? No. I'm not homophobic. I'm not afraid of gays. I'm more afraid that God will continue to punish us all for the wrongs of the many.

Anonymous said...

PEOPLE PLEASE JUST READ GOD'S WORD............
HE LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE BLESSED.. GET IT RIGHT BEFORE IT IS TO LATE ..HIS RETURN IS NEAR................................................................................................................................... AMEN..

Anonymous said...

Can't you idiots understand it's making fun of the old traditional views people still have and actually supporting gay marriage by showing that times have changed.

Anonymous said...

i wouldn't mind gay marriage, i mean i'm not really for or against it..except when i saw two people making out in the bathroom at school. that was gross..but i hate it when straight people do that too, so whatevs XD the only thing i think is wrong with this is #4 (even though it cracked me up), because..it's BRITNEY SPEARS, hahahah. you can't use her to back up ANYTHING!:D

Anonymous said...

Its great to hear such a voice. Its what we all need to hear. Most people r afraid to admit that being gay is wrong but most of us know it is. if gay marriage was meant to happen, it wouldve been legalized in the first place.

Anonymous said...

i dont agree with most of it, but omg please number 3 are your eyes blocked or has your brain stopped working or what. and hey, number 10 is very offensive.

Anonymous said...

I seriously can't believe how many people didn't understand this was a joke. I mean, we're supposed to have the smart people, right?

.

!!! This is a JOKE, people. !!!

.

...maybe number one is confusing, but by two it should be obvious.
So sad, how many people are without brains.

Anonymous said...

Homosexuality is found in over 5,000 different species.

Homophobia is found in only one.

Which one's unnatural now?

Anonymous said...

1. Spellcheck is there for a reason!
2. Cursing does NOT make your argument better.
3. Google "sarcasm".
4. It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, green, etc.. Natural stupidity does not seem to be selective based on some of the above posts.

By the way, I am personally opposed to same-sex marriage, but not to tolerance and equality. I do have a lesbian daughter and we have a great relationship. We can agree to disagree without resorting to name calling and using foul language.

Anonymous said...

Please relax

Anonymous said...

GAYS, TURK ER JERBS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

DEY TERK OUR JERBSS!!!

Anonymous said...

im confused, you sounds like your living in the 20th century... why do others care who someone else marries? its their own buisness, so you should just butt out of other peoples lives.

Anonymous said...

It's funny how people are just throwing the word "homophobe" around. Remember what a phobia is. It's a fear of something. Being against gay marriage doesn't make you a homophobe. Even people who dislike homosexuals doesn't make them homophobes. If someone has arachnophobia they don't hate spiders, they fear them just like homophobes fear homosexuals.

Anonymous said...

You need to learn the art of sarcasm.... Your worse than Sheldon from the big bang theory. Oblivious to all. Learn sarcasm dude. Jessi is right... Wow

Anonymous said...

I have officially lost faith in humanity. People....this is clearly sarcasm. If you can't figure that out, then please just don't comment.

Anonymous said...

How is that awesome? Gay marriage should be allowed! See we know that it is not allowed so you can break taxes but there can be someone that puts up cameras and watches you to make sure you are gay and arent playing. And the meaningful thing do what! Yea gay marriage has a higher chance of surviving then straight marriage and that is because they are awesome! Any one that thinks gay marriage is worng well I think they are worng cause gay marriage is the people's chose! Not yours so MAKE GAY MARRIAGE LEGAL!

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with the point on gay parents only raising gay children. I think many
gay parents have heterosexual children and straight parents gay children, ect.

I think children of gay parents are less sexist. There are pros and cons but really
I don't believe it matters. What matters is the quality of the relationship between the parents regardless of their gender or sexuality.

Anonymous said...

Its funny because am reading this list of things, were everyone is getting so pissed off over something thats a joke, its quiet obvious the person who put this list up is not against gays, i on the other hand do not believe in same sex marriage, not because am homophobic but because of traditional views.

Anonymous said...

dafuq did i just read...

Anonymous said...

Number 8 is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. 1st hanging around tall people does not change your height, and 2nd there is absolutely no scientific proof that hanging around gays will make you gay. You are just a close-minded person who needs to open his eyes and look around and see that things are changing for the better.

Anonymous said...

This is great... i thought you were serious untill i got to the thing about hanging with tall people will make you tall..

Anonymous said...

If someone wants to be gay and wants to marry their partner let them be

Unknown said...

well fuck all you that says it is i bad im a bisexual 13 year old girl if i marry a girl and have sex with her it is totaly ok you dickwads

Anonymous said...

You clearly have NO idea what you're talking about.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend and I had the biggest of laughs reading this.

Anonymous said...

To all the people here still raging at the author for being a homophobe:
Stop. This is satire. You've been told this at least a hundred times already, looking at all the previous comments. The author is pro gay rights. So stop getting upset at the author and go...read a book, or something.

To all the people here who are anti gay rights:
I am of the opinion that any person should be allowed to do any and everything he or she wants to make him or herself happy, so long as it does not physically harm another person or prevent them from making themselves happy. Such as marry a person of the same sex. This marriage does not harm anyone. At all. Ever.
But you're entitled to your opinion. And you also have the right to do whatever you want to make yourself happy, such as not marrying a person of the same sex. I don't want to marry another man either. So all us straight people can keep on marrying the opposite sex and being happy and all them gay people should be allowed to marry people of the same sex and be happy, and then we can all move on as a society.

Unknown said...

Oh my god people do you not see the tremendous amount of sarcasm in this? I laughed. Well done.

Unknown said...

Oh my god people do you not see the tremendous amount of sarcasm in this? I laughed. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Your reasoning against gay marriage is very narrow-minded.It is obvious you are afraid of change and the idea scares you so much you come up with such absurd reasons.

Anonymous said...

Wait... this is a joke is it not? cause #2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 seem like they were written by a 2 year old. If this isn't a joke... how are you smart enough to work a computer? Just saying.

Anonymous said...

So repetitive. Think of more reasons. We're all tired of hearing the same stuff. Your "reasons" are becoming more weaker.

Anonymous said...

These are such stupid reasons! It is legal in some states for people to have sex with their animals but when two people who obviously love each other want to commit to each other in the only possible way left they slam the door in their face. Equality my ass.Such a hypocritical society, following the social norms of most of the society is not going to mean you are right as Milgram's experiments have proven.

Anonymous said...

this is the most stupid post I have ever seen in my life.....I think Ur IQ is in the negative side

Anonymous said...

you are a very biased person, even though im not gay or lesbian your claims are vague and totally pointless. Would you like it if someone would judge you based on who you love? Instead of the saying "think before you speak" you need to "think before you post"
p.s wake the hell up its a new socitey things and people change ~peace out 2013 bitches~

Anonymous said...

Haha, i was thinking the same thing, ur the first one to make a comment joking about that instead of just saying , "this is bs." Or "yall who believe this are stupid," but your right, highly entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Before I realized that this was a joke, I was certain Mitt Romney posted this

Anonymous said...

Oh my. I know I'm really late on this, but I just now stumbled upon this hilarious list. Judging by the comments, there are far too many people who have a severe lack of humor, including sarcasm and irony. Pull the sticks out of your butts and loosen up. This post is awesome and greatly highlights the barbaric mentality behind the anti-gay campaigns!

Anonymous said...

Its satire you guys. Kind of like sarcasm, but better. Is it sad that we live in a society with people who think this is real because excuses to discriminate have gotten this pathetic?

Anonymous said...

I’m mad about this!

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
I’m the most mad about this one cause who gives someone the right to say “Homosexuality is not natural”? We ALL know that Homosexuality is “not natural” so that makes him saying that something that is not natural is not natural right? And if you bestow upon a “not natural” a second “not natural” it automatically becomes a natural! Everybody knows the first “not” would cancel out the second “not” and there would no longer be a not! Just simple algebra. You clown!
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
I’m mad about this one cause it is so crazy. How could it possibly be illegal for infertile couples to get married. If their not married how can they find out they are infertile, unless their doing illegal things before they become illegal. I don’t mean they become illegal because an inanimate thing like a human being just cannot be illegal can he?
And this deal about the old people can’t legally get married cause the world needs more children. Well that’s . . . what does that one guy keep saying over and over and over. BS! Everybody knows if the old people would have gotten married when they were young we would have all the children we need. And this children shortage is a serious thing. And this deal about “Heterosexual marriages are validated because they produce children. BS. BS. BS. BS.... I knew a Heterosexual couple one time and they had two children and they were both queers. So it seems like to me they kind of got invalidated.
3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
I’m mad about this one cause it is just soooooo stupid. EVERYBODY KNOWS gay people can’t have children. And the few that have came out with funny looking kids. I seen em’ on the front of some of those tabloids. Weird looking!

Anonymous said...

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
I’m mad about this one cause . . . well maybe so but conversely all that means is that gay marriages will be MORE meaningful if straight marriages are not allowed. That just adds up.....Not that I am for Homosexual marriage but if their going to do it, this is a way to make it meaningful! Maybe everybody can come out a winner.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
I’m mad about his one cause there is just no proof. I mean he did get most of it right but that “Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time”. How can you possibly prove a statement like that. I mean it could have been all Homosexual marriages back there until just recently when the laws were changed. Like the buddhist monk said “I am celebrate like my father and his father before him.” I’m thinking it’s kind of the same principle.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
I’m mad about this one just cause it is so damned complicated! I don’t have the least idea what he is trying to say!
7

Anonymous said...

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
I’m mad about this cause it is just such a slur.... This is simply not making distinctions. Religion loves the sinner but it hates the sin. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT! Though when their bashin’ they do seem to get the two mixed up a bit. Left some sinners hurtin’! Pray away the gay you know, that don’t always work. And what do you do when you have a queer who is also a “person of faith?” That is just so unnatural! Just DOUBLE unnatural! BS BS BS BS BS In a theocracy the queers can beat him to death with their gay pride flags!
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
I’m mad about this cause it’s just not so, and if it was just how practical can it be. What am I suppose to do join a basketball team? I have been watching the elevators though. Don’t want to get thrown in with a bunch of short people!! Calamitous! Now I know why those women that hold babies all the time look so short and fat!
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
I’m mad cause that is just sooooo gross. I can’t get that kiss at the altar out of my mind!
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
I’m mad about this one cause it just don’t make good sense. Single people cannot even have children much less raise them! Where is this guy at? It takes two to tango! And the few times it has happened. . . . .
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
I’m mad about this one cause I now see that this guy was just being funny all along. And BS BS BS what a thing to be funny about. After all the homosexual has caused hurricanes and earthquakes and inflation and terrorism and corrupt politicians and maybe even Obama! It just not something to be taken lightly!
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
This is why I say this guy is not joking! “Separate marriages for gays and lesbians” They don’t get married anyway! If they did they wouldn’t be queers!

Anonymous said...

You sure this is america this guy is basing his beliefs in? First off, divorce isn't illegal, there is a surplus of religions in the USA, hanging around tall people doesn't make you tall, Blacks CAN marry whites, and finally there are thousands upon thousands of single parents. It is not forbidden. I might maybe consider this paper, but it is so riddled with error and bias that I think of this as an example of human stupidity.

Anonymous said...

ohhh my GODDDD

it is so funny and helpful.
it make me laugh

Anonymous said...

i agree with not making same sex marriage legal, i believe everyone deserves love but this offends God and even if you don't believe in him now you did in your premortal life and all the nonbelievers will believe in the end....

Anonymous said...

Wow - did you really read all of that and NOT get that it was humor??

Anonymous said...

Its a joke chill

Anonymous said...

It's sarcastic. The writer is making fun of people who don't support gay marraige

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