12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

Thursday, February 4, 2010

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.


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401 comentarii:

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Katey said...

wait is this a joke?

Anonymous said...

The comments on this post are ridiculous; how can you NOT see that the author is pro gay marriage? The author's throwing the arguments most homophobes have back in their faces! Come on people!

As a side note, the commenters saying that being gay is a sin? So is wearing clothes of mixed materials, like cotton shirt and a silk tie, and eating shellfish. Let's be real, the Bible was written by mankind, not by God. Give it a rest already.

Anonymous said...

Also, if you commenters don't believe in gay marriage, that's fantastic, DON'T HAVE A GAY MARRIAGE THEN. Let other people do what they want. America was founded on choice and equality for all. Not allowing someone the same rights as the rest of the country is cruel and despicable.

Raz said...

The same old indoctrination from the simple minded with delusions of grandeur.

Anonymous said...

So there are a LOT of STUPID people who read this. It's called SARCASM this list is poking fun at how absolutely ludicrous gay marriage bans are. WOW iintelligence is in short supply today. Thank you and goodnight.

Anonymous said...

You COMPLETELY forget that there are MANY valid reasons that we with values can give for the abolition of gay marriage:
1. The Bible is not wrong. Face it.
2. Marriage is by definition a religious term; using LITERAL terminology, the only kind of marriage occurs between a man and a woman.
3. Gay couples cannot produce children and depend on adoption, which forces children who have been abandoned to live in a household with only one kind of parent.

Anonymous said...

You are one closed mind motherfucker.. biased retard... #3 is obviously bullshit. I know a girl with 2 great fathers, and she is straight... as straight as the line of coke you should probably go OD on.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe such inhumanity (homosexuality) is becoming normal.

Idiots say we should accept everyone as who they are. Then what the hell is the test to see if we go to Heaven or Hell? If we can be whatever we feel like and whatever we want, then how are we following the right path of God? We're following our lust and doing such sins like homosexuality, Its clear in all religions that homosexuality is a big sin.

We are born this way? No we're not, are brains are scientifically proven to be sexually attracted to things that assure reproduction. Homosexual feelings is a punishment for something you have done while growing up, and you should ask for forgiveness instead of being a total idiot and thinking thats how you're born.

Also, Its scientifically proven that homosexual acts are unhealthy.

So if you've read my post, you're only a completely brain-fucked retard to still condemn homosexuality.

Anonymous said...

Your sarcasms is so stupid! You must be a gay trying to defend the rights you will never get in a stupid way.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe you!!! first off, some of your information is totally WRONG! secondly, as long as they are American, they have just as many rights as every one else including, freedom of religion which is what America is all about. the entire reason for the Europeans coming to America during Columbus' time was so they can have religious freedom. and with all these religions around to mess with gays rights i don't see any "Religious Freedom". taking away the right for gays to marry is totally unjustified and un-American in every way. your so called "reasons" why gay marriage should be illegal, aren't all even true. and what if there is an atheist whose gay who wants to get married; this means they don't believe in the religions that call gay marriage a sin, is he/she just not allowed to get married because of something that they DON'T believe. now i think that's extremely unfair for them. and whatever happened to EQUAL RIGHTS?? did they just fly out a window when the debate of gay marriage came up? this is such a load of bullcrap that i can't even believe i wasted my time reading this!!!!! just think about what you said and put yourself in their shoes. would you want to be treated like a low class citizen just because of your sexual preference? i know i wouldn't. so why should they??

Anonymous said...

To all you arrogant shit-for-brains: This is a joke, get over yourself

Anonymous said...

THAT IS THE POINT... to show how absurd these ideas are through satire! Satire is one of the most witty and intelligent ways to offer social criticism and those who can't recognize this are of painfully limited intelligence. So sad :(

Anonymous said...

This information is obviously biased and false!
Come on people this is the 21st century be a little open minded and not such ignorant pricks.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a homosexual, but I just want to say for people who agree with these stupid arguments, just KILL YOURSELVES. Your life is meaningless!!!!
DUMB ASS!!

Anonymous said...

Stupid stupid asshole who write this.
I am not a homosexual, some people says you just want people to know the truth that being a gay is a sin?? You are so dumb, religious people!!
Everyone is sinful in this world, even heterosexuals. When they have sex before they get married, they are sinful! You said homosexual is a sin, then you are also sinful. You are so retarded!

Anonymous said...

Bull fucking shit. Am I the only christian who finds Gay rights a good thing?

Anonymous said...

This is one of the most uneducated reasons why gay marriage should be illegal. If this is a joke, you should spend your time else where because this is ridiculous. Gays are human. They are not different from us. So before you go calling gays inhuman think about it first.

Anonymous said...

I read this thinking "oh hey, there might be some valid points in here. I wanna see the counter argument to gays being able to get married"
Well, was I wrong. Not all of this is insane, but comparing 2 people of the same gender to a human and an animal getting married doesn't even make sense. Weather you are gay or not, you're a human. A human with the right to free will, just like "God" wanted us to have right? Another thing is you claim that if we let gays get married it might open to other crazy behavior. I thought marriage is supposed to be about love, respect, all that jazz, if 2 people, regardless of sex are in love, who are we to stop them? Also, we really don't need more Children on this earth. That's why China has the 1 child rule, though they might claim to be an Atheist Country, that's besides the point, its getting much to packed. We do not need more people, we are already over flowing. If you dont like gay people, fine, if you believe you should live by the bible, so be it. To each their own, but when you try to stand between millions of peoples happiness, how is their love worth less than Straight people's? Also, I would LOVE to know how gay Marriage would influence people to be gay? If by that you mean for people to come out of the closet and actually be happy, than yes, you're probably right, but other than that, being gay is not something people do willingly, they dont think "Oh hey, I think I want to be gay" That's why a lot of gay teenagers freak out and deny themselves a lot when they first have these gay feelings, (well with people I know thats how it usually is) saying someone is worth less than you because of their sexual orientation that's insane, I keep hearing this "God loves everyone the same" type of thing, but its getting harder, and harder to believe.

Anonymous said...

This is really retarded my brother is gay and he's a great person and i have straight parents he chose to be gay on his own that is his decision and I believe gay marriage should be legal you moronic homophobe

Anonymous said...

This is a satirical post. It's all sarcasm. Too bed you can't see that.

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for gays. We should help them get through whatever traumatic event happened to them in their life to make them turn gay. I know they claim to be 'born this way' but anyone with a brain knows that to be false. 'gays' deserve a chance at life too, we just need to help them..

Anonymous said...

sooo all your reasons about why it should be illegal are right. it should be. just leave the first sentences of all these reasons and you have a lot of good points!

Anonymous said...

sooo all your reasons about why it should be illegal are right. it should be. just leave the first sentences of all these reasons and you have a lot of good points!

Anonymous said...

god made adam and eve not adam and steve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is beyond stupid.

Anonymous said...

dude, before writing dis kind of shit maybe u should upsate u freaking brain, you r still on d 18 century. first of all divorce is legal, women r not fraking object and someday they will outdo all d men and third black, and asians have as much right as white people do. by d way the straight parents coment is incredibly ridiculous, if straghtpeople raise straight children den were do gay people come from? an egg or they just appeared? all those people comefrom straight parents and i am pretty sure gay people can raise straght children. also the tall people coment is the most riduculous one i should say i have a friend who hangs with rally tall people but heisreally short, then wat can u say about dat, i am friend with gay peopleand i am pretty straight. maybe you haventadapted to things bcause ur brain does notwork but iam very adapted to the technology today.Speaking about d bible didnt d biblesay thatwe shouldnt discriminate and everybody r brother n sisters?wellreligious dude those gays r as well bros and sis. Also fyi african-americans havebeen studying in the same school as whites for year next time u coment make sure 2 use your brain (of course if u have one) and do a littleresearch about wat u r writtingabout (of course if u can adapt better 2 d internet) retarded.

Anonymous said...

A) yes, I know this article was a joke
B) I honestly agree, whoever wrote this is very funny
C) No, I do not beleive gay marriage is correct
D) I find it comical that those who agree with gay marriage constantly refute the resoning of those of us who do not, yet they do not supply reasoning explaining why gay marriage is right. "Because we love each other" is based on the same unsteady argument that zoophilia and poligamy are based off of: laws cannot restrict love. States have the right to disallow cousins and siblings to marry, why not gay marriage?
E) A man and a woman who are barren are different than a homosexually oriented couple. Not being able to procreate because of medical reasons is a rare and an unintentional happening. Homosexually oriented couples willingly entering into a relationship knowing that their sexual intercourse could not under any circumstance, result in a child.

Anonymous said...

This is bullcrap. Why you so stupid?????

Anonymous said...

you people are retarded
ass faces

Anonymous said...

I don't understand. This isn't your frickin problem so don't make it a problem for other people

Anonymous said...

I Am amazed that people don't realise that this is a joke. Even more amazed that after reading comments in which people told them that it is a joke, their response is "Well it is not funny! It is offensive to gay people" etc. You misunderstood once again. This is indeed a joke. NOT a joke making fun of gay people, but a joke making fun of the reasons people give to oppose same sex marriage. These "top reasons" are common reasons that people use to oppose same sex marriage, but this article ridicules the "reasons" and points out how invalid these reasons are. Especially obvious in reasons 4 and 5. To those offended by this - thank you for defending same sex marriage, but please re-read these top 12 reasons and try to note the sarcasm. This writer is ON OUR SIDE. This article is PRO-SAME-SEX-MARRIAGE.

Anonymous said...

WTF! ARE YOU STUPID? ALL OF THE STUFF IS A FREAKIN LIE BRO! GO FREAKIN KILL SELF LIKE FOR REAL.

Anonymous said...

TO ALL OF YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT THIS BEING SARCASM BULLSH*T - IF IT IS THAT WAS REALLY DISRESPECTFUL
IF ITS NOT WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS FULL OF CRAP

Anonymous said...

Lots of you guys don't seem to realize that this is satire! It's hilarious and awesome and, in fact, intentionally makes a bunch of really good points in favor of gay marriage's legalization.

PS. You really should learn to recognize satire and sarcasm

Anonymous said...

If straight people wanna get rid of gays they should stop fuckin, cause only straight people can make gay people uve never heard of a backdoor baby, google backdoor baby and see what u find, i dont give a fuck about who marries who i just love how there r people from both sides of the argument that dont see the underlying message and are taking this literally

Anonymous said...

Did nobody actually get that this was mocking homophobic views, not enforcing them?
This is brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Believe in the list but blacks marry whites ALL THE TIME

heather said...

I don't think it was a joke. I think the writer is pro-gay marriage, and he was pointing out how the people who are anti-gay marriage, their reasoning is the joke. Everything he said is right!!! So not, not a joke, but putting homophobes and anti-gays in their place!!

Benavidez4233 said...

Seriously people. Gay marriage is so wrong. Forget the trying to be hip and cool. Gay marriage is wrong for every reason posible. Just cuz you love somone doesn't make it right. Being gay period is wrong. What if the entire world was gay? If I loved a 5 year old kid and she loved me, would it be right for us to be together? No. I'm not homophobic. I'm not afraid of gays. I'm more afraid that God will continue to punish us all for the wrongs of the many.

Anonymous said...

PEOPLE PLEASE JUST READ GOD'S WORD............
HE LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE BLESSED.. GET IT RIGHT BEFORE IT IS TO LATE ..HIS RETURN IS NEAR................................................................................................................................... AMEN..

Closed-Minded-Homophobe said...

Can we not be reminded that this is a country under God? We can't lose that because the United States will fall if we let piece of shit homosexuals ruin everyone's fun.

Anonymous said...

Ok, there are major damn flaws in ALL of your reasons and #3 is pure BS. Straight couples only raise straight children? Then how the hell did gay and lesbian people appear? Did they come out of the ground? No, they were born that way. Straight couples can raise children that will turn out to be straight or gay, just as gay parents will raise children to be either as well.

Anonymous said...

Can't you idiots understand it's making fun of the old traditional views people still have and actually supporting gay marriage by showing that times have changed.

Anonymous said...

i wouldn't mind gay marriage, i mean i'm not really for or against it..except when i saw two people making out in the bathroom at school. that was gross..but i hate it when straight people do that too, so whatevs XD the only thing i think is wrong with this is #4 (even though it cracked me up), because..it's BRITNEY SPEARS, hahahah. you can't use her to back up ANYTHING!:D

Anonymous said...

Its great to hear such a voice. Its what we all need to hear. Most people r afraid to admit that being gay is wrong but most of us know it is. if gay marriage was meant to happen, it wouldve been legalized in the first place.

Anonymous said...

i dont agree with most of it, but omg please number 3 are your eyes blocked or has your brain stopped working or what. and hey, number 10 is very offensive.

killallgays said...

i dont like gay people. GOD HAS HIS PREVENT DEFENSE SET UP AT THE PEARLY GATES!! YOUR NOT GETTING IN HERE FAGGOTS!!!

Anonymous said...

Fuck whoever wrote this blog! Insulting! Fuck u Mr. Prejudice!

Anonymous said...

I seriously can't believe how many people didn't understand this was a joke. I mean, we're supposed to have the smart people, right?

.

!!! This is a JOKE, people. !!!

.

...maybe number one is confusing, but by two it should be obvious.
So sad, how many people are without brains.

Anonymous said...

Homosexuality is found in over 5,000 different species.

Homophobia is found in only one.

Which one's unnatural now?

Anonymous said...

1. Spellcheck is there for a reason!
2. Cursing does NOT make your argument better.
3. Google "sarcasm".
4. It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, green, etc.. Natural stupidity does not seem to be selective based on some of the above posts.

By the way, I am personally opposed to same-sex marriage, but not to tolerance and equality. I do have a lesbian daughter and we have a great relationship. We can agree to disagree without resorting to name calling and using foul language.

Anonymous said...

Please relax

Anonymous said...

just been reading this entire thing for the past half hour. after reading how stupid all these people can be i think im against procreation. fuck me these people are dumb. esp the ones that say that theyve read the comments and still dont find it funny!!! man this is fucking hilarious

Anonymous said...

GAYS, TURK ER JERBS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lol, funniest thing to me, is the people who think they've accomplished something by making half of you explain the meaning of sarcasm. "LOLOLOL bro, did u see, I made that guy call me an idiot, and that one... and that one... aren't I the greatest troll?... If you say something stupid, people will correct you, if you get a math problem wrong on purpose, you didn't "troll" the teacher, you trolled yourself, if a kids screaming in a supermarket, because he wants attention, he's not a troll, he's a loud, obnoxious seeking brat. If people calling you an idiot, gives you a sense of satisfaction, I pity the fool.

Anonymous said...

DEY TERK OUR JERBSS!!!

Anonymous said...

im confused, you sounds like your living in the 20th century... why do others care who someone else marries? its their own buisness, so you should just butt out of other peoples lives.

Anonymous said...

It's funny how people are just throwing the word "homophobe" around. Remember what a phobia is. It's a fear of something. Being against gay marriage doesn't make you a homophobe. Even people who dislike homosexuals doesn't make them homophobes. If someone has arachnophobia they don't hate spiders, they fear them just like homophobes fear homosexuals.

Anonymous said...

You need to learn the art of sarcasm.... Your worse than Sheldon from the big bang theory. Oblivious to all. Learn sarcasm dude. Jessi is right... Wow

Anonymous said...

I have officially lost faith in humanity. People....this is clearly sarcasm. If you can't figure that out, then please just don't comment.

Anonymous said...

How is that awesome? Gay marriage should be allowed! See we know that it is not allowed so you can break taxes but there can be someone that puts up cameras and watches you to make sure you are gay and arent playing. And the meaningful thing do what! Yea gay marriage has a higher chance of surviving then straight marriage and that is because they are awesome! Any one that thinks gay marriage is worng well I think they are worng cause gay marriage is the people's chose! Not yours so MAKE GAY MARRIAGE LEGAL!

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with the point on gay parents only raising gay children. I think many
gay parents have heterosexual children and straight parents gay children, ect.

I think children of gay parents are less sexist. There are pros and cons but really
I don't believe it matters. What matters is the quality of the relationship between the parents regardless of their gender or sexuality.

Anonymous said...

omg this is bull shit someone needs to deletw this crap

Anonymous said...

Its funny because am reading this list of things, were everyone is getting so pissed off over something thats a joke, its quiet obvious the person who put this list up is not against gays, i on the other hand do not believe in same sex marriage, not because am homophobic but because of traditional views.

Anonymous said...

Alright, maybe someone should EXPLAIN the joke, to those who don't get it: the poster is saying that gay marriage should be legal because ANY and ALL reasons AGAINST gay marriage are STUPID, like all of the reasons he LISTED. Gosh, people that don't get satire make me give up on the world...

Anonymous said...

To the few who mock the "stupid Americans" for not understanding satire.

What makes you believe all the idiots here are American? Wouldn't it be more likely that a non American would not understand American satire?

I hate bigots. Look it up.

Anonymous said...

dafuq did i just read...

Anonymous said...

I personally think this is a very good article . You forgot to mention that homosexuality is a genetic disorder .And im just 100% sure that by taking a vote this could be banned in the USA . i mean that is democracy right. when you think about it even these homosexuals know deep down inside its wrong to be homosexual ,its not good for the world . It brings in many disturbing changes .It changes the purpose of nature and the way things are meant to be . Homosexuality is preffered by people who have had a stressed or troubled childhood. 'disturbed' to be precise

MICHELLE said...

12. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

This has IM A DUMBASS written all over it. You clearly shouldn't be arguing about something you know nothing about. Straight parents raise gay children all the time, if you're gay and you have a kid you can't raise someone to be gay. People are born this way!! Some straight people have gay genes where when they have children it is dominant in them and this makes a person gay!! Studies have been done! RESEARCH YOUR FACTS BEFORE YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!!!

Anonymous said...

Number 8 is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. 1st hanging around tall people does not change your height, and 2nd there is absolutely no scientific proof that hanging around gays will make you gay. You are just a close-minded person who needs to open his eyes and look around and see that things are changing for the better.

Anonymous said...

Feces? Really? That's why you hate gays? Last time I checked we're all human and we all shit. What business of yours is it to care which hole someone sticks his dick into?

Anonymous said...

This is great... i thought you were serious untill i got to the thing about hanging with tall people will make you tall..

Anonymous said...

If someone wants to be gay and wants to marry their partner let them be

Anonymous said...

i hate this its bullshit who the fuck do you think you are my uncles gay and raises a straight child you are a total dumbass

Rose Z said...

well fuck all you that says it is i bad im a bisexual 13 year old girl if i marry a girl and have sex with her it is totaly ok you dickwads

Anonymous said...

You clearly have NO idea what you're talking about.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend and I had the biggest of laughs reading this.

Anonymous said...

To all the people here still raging at the author for being a homophobe:
Stop. This is satire. You've been told this at least a hundred times already, looking at all the previous comments. The author is pro gay rights. So stop getting upset at the author and go...read a book, or something.

To all the people here who are anti gay rights:
I am of the opinion that any person should be allowed to do any and everything he or she wants to make him or herself happy, so long as it does not physically harm another person or prevent them from making themselves happy. Such as marry a person of the same sex. This marriage does not harm anyone. At all. Ever.
But you're entitled to your opinion. And you also have the right to do whatever you want to make yourself happy, such as not marrying a person of the same sex. I don't want to marry another man either. So all us straight people can keep on marrying the opposite sex and being happy and all them gay people should be allowed to marry people of the same sex and be happy, and then we can all move on as a society.

Unknown said...

Oh my god people do you not see the tremendous amount of sarcasm in this? I laughed. Well done.

Unknown said...

Oh my god people do you not see the tremendous amount of sarcasm in this? I laughed. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Your reasoning against gay marriage is very narrow-minded.It is obvious you are afraid of change and the idea scares you so much you come up with such absurd reasons.

Anonymous said...

Wait... this is a joke is it not? cause #2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 seem like they were written by a 2 year old. If this isn't a joke... how are you smart enough to work a computer? Just saying.

Anonymous said...

So repetitive. Think of more reasons. We're all tired of hearing the same stuff. Your "reasons" are becoming more weaker.

Anonymous said...

These are such stupid reasons! It is legal in some states for people to have sex with their animals but when two people who obviously love each other want to commit to each other in the only possible way left they slam the door in their face. Equality my ass.Such a hypocritical society, following the social norms of most of the society is not going to mean you are right as Milgram's experiments have proven.

Anonymous said...

this is the most stupid post I have ever seen in my life.....I think Ur IQ is in the negative side

Anonymous said...

you are a very biased person, even though im not gay or lesbian your claims are vague and totally pointless. Would you like it if someone would judge you based on who you love? Instead of the saying "think before you speak" you need to "think before you post"
p.s wake the hell up its a new socitey things and people change ~peace out 2013 bitches~

Anonymous said...

this is a fucked up load of shit it is not going to change your life if two femals get married or two males do its their life not yours so stop with this bull shit gay parents can rise a straight kids not problem if you go up to some one and say your raising your kid wrong becouse the kid is gay then your going to get your face fucked up who ever wrote this should go to hell people who are homosexual are people you cant run their lives that why people are getting kill becouse their tired of being pushed around

Anonymous said...

Haha, i was thinking the same thing, ur the first one to make a comment joking about that instead of just saying , "this is bs." Or "yall who believe this are stupid," but your right, highly entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Before I realized that this was a joke, I was certain Mitt Romney posted this

Anonymous said...

Oh my. I know I'm really late on this, but I just now stumbled upon this hilarious list. Judging by the comments, there are far too many people who have a severe lack of humor, including sarcasm and irony. Pull the sticks out of your butts and loosen up. This post is awesome and greatly highlights the barbaric mentality behind the anti-gay campaigns!

Anonymous said...

Its satire you guys. Kind of like sarcasm, but better. Is it sad that we live in a society with people who think this is real because excuses to discriminate have gotten this pathetic?

Anonymous said...

I’m mad about this!

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
I’m the most mad about this one cause who gives someone the right to say “Homosexuality is not natural”? We ALL know that Homosexuality is “not natural” so that makes him saying that something that is not natural is not natural right? And if you bestow upon a “not natural” a second “not natural” it automatically becomes a natural! Everybody knows the first “not” would cancel out the second “not” and there would no longer be a not! Just simple algebra. You clown!
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
I’m mad about this one cause it is so crazy. How could it possibly be illegal for infertile couples to get married. If their not married how can they find out they are infertile, unless their doing illegal things before they become illegal. I don’t mean they become illegal because an inanimate thing like a human being just cannot be illegal can he?
And this deal about the old people can’t legally get married cause the world needs more children. Well that’s . . . what does that one guy keep saying over and over and over. BS! Everybody knows if the old people would have gotten married when they were young we would have all the children we need. And this children shortage is a serious thing. And this deal about “Heterosexual marriages are validated because they produce children. BS. BS. BS. BS.... I knew a Heterosexual couple one time and they had two children and they were both queers. So it seems like to me they kind of got invalidated.
3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
I’m mad about this one cause it is just soooooo stupid. EVERYBODY KNOWS gay people can’t have children. And the few that have came out with funny looking kids. I seen em’ on the front of some of those tabloids. Weird looking!

Anonymous said...

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
I’m mad about this one cause . . . well maybe so but conversely all that means is that gay marriages will be MORE meaningful if straight marriages are not allowed. That just adds up.....Not that I am for Homosexual marriage but if their going to do it, this is a way to make it meaningful! Maybe everybody can come out a winner.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
I’m mad about his one cause there is just no proof. I mean he did get most of it right but that “Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time”. How can you possibly prove a statement like that. I mean it could have been all Homosexual marriages back there until just recently when the laws were changed. Like the buddhist monk said “I am celebrate like my father and his father before him.” I’m thinking it’s kind of the same principle.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
I’m mad about this one just cause it is so damned complicated! I don’t have the least idea what he is trying to say!
7

Anonymous said...

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
I’m mad about this cause it is just such a slur.... This is simply not making distinctions. Religion loves the sinner but it hates the sin. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT! Though when their bashin’ they do seem to get the two mixed up a bit. Left some sinners hurtin’! Pray away the gay you know, that don’t always work. And what do you do when you have a queer who is also a “person of faith?” That is just so unnatural! Just DOUBLE unnatural! BS BS BS BS BS In a theocracy the queers can beat him to death with their gay pride flags!
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
I’m mad about this cause it’s just not so, and if it was just how practical can it be. What am I suppose to do join a basketball team? I have been watching the elevators though. Don’t want to get thrown in with a bunch of short people!! Calamitous! Now I know why those women that hold babies all the time look so short and fat!
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
I’m mad cause that is just sooooo gross. I can’t get that kiss at the altar out of my mind!
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
I’m mad about this one cause it just don’t make good sense. Single people cannot even have children much less raise them! Where is this guy at? It takes two to tango! And the few times it has happened. . . . .
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
I’m mad about this one cause I now see that this guy was just being funny all along. And BS BS BS what a thing to be funny about. After all the homosexual has caused hurricanes and earthquakes and inflation and terrorism and corrupt politicians and maybe even Obama! It just not something to be taken lightly!
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
This is why I say this guy is not joking! “Separate marriages for gays and lesbians” They don’t get married anyway! If they did they wouldn’t be queers!

Anonymous said...

You sure this is america this guy is basing his beliefs in? First off, divorce isn't illegal, there is a surplus of religions in the USA, hanging around tall people doesn't make you tall, Blacks CAN marry whites, and finally there are thousands upon thousands of single parents. It is not forbidden. I might maybe consider this paper, but it is so riddled with error and bias that I think of this as an example of human stupidity.

Anonymous said...

ohhh my GODDDD

it is so funny and helpful.
it make me laugh

Anonymous said...

i agree with not making same sex marriage legal, i believe everyone deserves love but this offends God and even if you don't believe in him now you did in your premortal life and all the nonbelievers will believe in the end....

Anonymous said...

Well, you dipshit mother fuckers, THIS. IS. A.

JOKE!

liann gilbert said...

This is DUMBEST FUCKING CROCK OF SHIT I HAVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. Whoever the fuck made this up needs to die a slow horrible and painful death. I am one hundred percent GAY and the shit posted in that "list" is the stupidest bull shit in the whole fucking world. You people need to die.
My name is Natalie Liann Gilbert. My facebook name is Natalie Liann. if you have any problems with what i have said feel free to contact me and let me know.
Until then have a horrible life. Because i know you will for the ignorant view you people have on the subject of homosexuality.

Anonymous said...

Wow - did you really read all of that and NOT get that it was humor??

Anonymous said...

Its a joke chill

Anonymous said...

It's sarcastic. The writer is making fun of people who don't support gay marraige

Anonymous said...

It's sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

It's sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

It's a joke

Anonymous said...

You're not very nice at all

Anonymous said...

Oh wow can you imagine having a straight president and straight people in cartoons encouraging people to be straight at a young age?

Anonymous said...

So is divorce but the divorce rate is 60% in America. And adultery. And lying, but we lie all the time. And looking at other people with lust, but society portrays everyone as sexy. Seriously, there's tons of things that are sins. Go complain about them too.

Grumpy cats said...

Can I join you

Grumpy cats said...

Wow you are a genius at arguments.

Grumpy cats said...

Can I join you

Grumpy cats said...

This guy is pro-gay making fun of the people who don't approve :)

Grumpy cats said...

"Under God" was added in the 50's when people were really conservative. In America you have the freedom of religion. The united states will fall soon anyway. If you haven't noticed, the gays aren't the problem with America. AMERICA is the problem with America.

brisingrrider said...

ahahahahahaha sarcasm... The wonderfulness...

TO ALL YOU WHO SAID THIS PERSON IS AN IDIOT- LEARN WHAT SARCASM IS.

thanks :D

James Maynard said...

That's why its called GAY MARRIAGE. Don't. Be. Ignorant.

Anonymous said...

This is a joke right??
These are terrible arguements..at least make it somewhat correct

Anonymous said...

I am embarassed by all you pro-gays who thought this was serious. This is just showing how stupid people are.

Anonymous said...

i'm crying about how many idiots don't get a joke. how blind are you? fuck it!

Anonymous said...

In the beginning there was Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve. Or Eve and Eva. It is sick and unnatural to be gay. To raise kids in that setting is even more wrong. To be gay is condemned in the bible look it up. When the angels came down from heaven and slept with men. They tried to go back to the heavens and they were throw out. People should be straight.

Anonymous said...

this is one of the stupidest thing ever like im not gay, but that doesnt matter! i wish that there was a dislike button like for real dude! they didnt choose to b gay anyway why do u think so many people go "in the closet" because they dont like the way they are but they should just b happy and u guys r ruining that hpw would u feel if everyone was saying that straight marrige should be illegal huh! ya i bet u guys would be like "well we just wanna be happy" well that's they want to there normal people and i am a christen ya, god said that he makes NO mistakes and to love everyone! you are not doing that! and if thatys the reason why u dont like them well then u should know that he also said its a sin to get earing or die ur hair or to have tattoes...ya. and he also said no sin is greater then an other haha bitches

Anonymous said...

silly f a g g o t s d i c k s are for chicks

Anonymous said...

this is not true at all

Anonymous said...

"Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will." what do u think the civil rights movement is about

Anonymous said...

I agree with number 8 because my dad 6 foot and I became 6 foot 6 its pretty weird. lol sarcasim

Anonymous said...

i cant tell if this commenter is being serious lol because seriously? u just wrote an essay stating the obvious =.= dam it learn how to read. what happened to the english language that kids cant pick up sarcasm no more

Unknown said...

*You're

Anonymous said...

This is absolutely 100% true! People should live by this list!

Anonymous said...

IT IS NOT NORMAL WHATSOEVER

Anonymous said...

Isn't it true that America is a country uninfluenced by religion? Isn't being gay something your born with, not something your taught? People said women working and voting would destroy the values of marriage, but has it? Would you rather they marry your daughter?

Anonymous said...

marriage should always be between a man and a woman, and it is bad enough with so many lesbians that are out there now is certainly the reason why us straight guys can't meet a good woman today. boy did God really messed up.

Mariana Grala said...

You're kidding right? You're an idiot.

Anonymous said...

Sir tell the world that Gay marriage should be illegal

And By the way In Russia If two same sex gender be gay the'll get killed by the Russian Government

Go Russian's

Anonymous said...

This is the kind of ignorance that is killing the world. For your information, this country was started and blessed by God. "...One nation under God..." A quote from the United States of America's Pledge of Allegiance. What do you think that means? The god of gays? No. The Christian God is what this country was founded around. But these generations are letting this country fall like all the other great nations before us have fallen and have been destroyed, and we are next. Gay marriage, abortion, Obama, this country won't last another 75 years thanks to stupid people like yourselves. This is disgusting. We are now attacking the God who blessed us with this great nation for so long? Like rebellious children. Embarrassing.

Anonymous said...

Ignoramus.

Anonymous said...

WRONG! this country was founded around the Christian God. Ever said the pledge of allegiance before? Yes? Then you have stated that this nation was founded around God. Not for people who feel like doing whatever they want.

Anonymous said...

Its really not that serious :/

Anonymous said...

THIS IS THE DUMBEST BULLSHIT I'VE EVER HEARD. IT SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN BY AN IGNORANT DUMBASS REPRESSED HOMOSEXUAL!

Anonymous said...

GAY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ALLOWED! IT'S SO GOOD! TRY STICKING YOUR DICK UP A MAN'S ASS AND YOU'LL LIKE IT AND YOU'LL TURN GAY! THAT'S HOW I TURNED GAY! AND IT FEELS SO GOOD TO HAVE ONE UP YOUR BUMHOLY!

Anonymous said...

with so many gay women nowadays, even us straight men can't meet a good woman anymore.

Anonymous said...

I love how so many people don't understand that all of this is meant ironically :D Perfect example for dwindling human intelligence.

Melissa Stevens said...

I hope this is a joke

Anonymous said...

marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Anonymous said...

very obvious why it is so very hard for us straight guys looking for a good woman now.

Anonymous said...

Your answers are fucken stupid how is it forbbiden for a single parent to raise a child.

Anonymous said...

Heh! Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it! These are the most ignorant, rediculous, childish arguments I've ever heard!

Anonymous said...

YOu are going to burn in hell. Say hello to Obama for me.

Anonymous said...

Bullshit? Well you are gay/lesbian.
Fuck off

Anonymous said...

stfu gay people all go to hell.

Anonymous said...

shut up your only for gays because those gay faggots you know .

Anonymous said...

LOVE how when ANYONE questions homosexuality, or disagrees with homosexual boilerplate....the branding begins "WELL Mr. Man, you're just homophobic." Awwww....so, the ONLY opinions that count and need safeguarding are yours? (*I also dig the sardonic crappy-12 reasons list - very original you 15 year old).

Anonymous said...

you, good sir, are fabulous.

Anonymous said...

Gay marriage is so stupid

Anonymous said...

well with so many Gay Women nowadays, how do you expect many of us Straight Guys meeting a Decent Normal One Now?

Anonymous said...

The world is growing ever sooo weirder, it was always better in the old days. Nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

-____- are some of you people really this stupid? Clearly this is sarcasm. The author supports gay rights.

Anonymous said...

Most of you are very stupid half was a joke but to be honest homosexuality itself is a joke your supporting the end of the world and dont realize it because you lack control of desire Grow up its man and woman for a reason use your heads i will pray to whoever god is for all of yoy who thinks putting an penis in a spot that you use the toilet is right and for women who think its right to rub your private area on each other hopefully you'll all grow up soon do it for the world

Anonymous said...

this is the stupidest I have heard in my fucking life. You seem like a total fucking asshole. Love is love, we paraphrase a book written thousands and millions and decades ago, idiot. Rot in hell you ignorant piece of shit

Anonymous said...

Wow the world is going straight to hell. There is something so sick and twisted about gay people and we had laws to prevent this and now yall are just running rampant all over the place flaunting your sickness. Being gay is a mental illness you should all be in therapy recieving lots of drugs. You poor poor crazy people.

Anonymous said...

Adam And Eve.

Anonymous said...

Gay should not marry because they Do not help society and we do not want men trying to have babies....We want dick to pussy not puss and pussy or penis and penis.

Anonymous said...

The bible isn't little, actually its pretty big, and important. Btw if homosexuals have to work so hard to justify their actions, then they could be wrong. Just saying

Anonymous said...

Call me a Homophobe if you'd like. Only thing that makes it wrong to me is the unnaturalness to it. You can love another human being without having to be married? I love my friends, and would do anything for them, but I don't feel the need to marry them. Just explain it to me.

Anonymous said...

You are one of the few people that seem to have the right idea. Poor America, one of God's blessed countries, falling right into Satan's doorstep. It makes me really sad.

Anonymous said...

Okay so personally, whether you're anti gay or for gay. It's totally cool, it's your opinion and everyone is allowed to have one. Although, this article is extremely false. Religion shouldn't be a factor in regarding gay rights because America has the Amendment Freedom of Religion. That's your first mistake. Second mistake is that straight couples do have gay children. It happens. Sorry. Honestly after reading this I am hoping that you are a troll because non of these are actual facts so yeah ok

Anonymous said...

This is awesome i think gays should be illegall i love the 9th

Anonymous said...

Brilliant list but the comments depress me. SATIRE, look it up people.

Anonymous said...

My name is Calvin

I don't like gay people because in the bible leviticus says,"No man should have a sexual relationship with another man otherwise you are not one of gods people" and all thouse gays are not listening to my religion, christianity. All those gays who are christian shouldn't even bother to be gay because they're going to hell. No one listens. We don't see what happens to the gays that die. The problem is they're going to hell. I really don't like gay people. All those famous gays who are saying god bless or blah like that should shut da f up. Homosexuality is what got Justin Bieber hated. Seriously I mean he wasn't a bda guy until the whole world was confused, he was gay. He got hates and hates. Majority of them were christian, islam, catholic and budhist. The only reason why people like gay people is because they know they'd get hated by the people who like gays.

That's all I got to say. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

In reference to #3, I was raised by straight parents and guess what I'm lesbian!!!

Anonymous said...

even if your being sarcastic that's still a horrible thing to say

Anonymous said...

'HE IS A HOMOPHOBE'

Anonymous said...

FINALLY THE TRUTH! GAY MARRIGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!

Anonymous said...

"3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children."

Then how did the gay ones come into existence in the first place?

I'm against gay marriages but this list is just plain stupid.

Anonymous said...

Agreed! Finally someone who doesn't support the liberal homophilic agenda.

Gays are just sick.

Anonymous said...

Don't think he gets it

Anonymous said...

this is so true I totally agree with this publisher. gay marriage is STUPID!!

Anonymous said...

I certainly agree 100 percent.

Anonymous said...

It is very Obvious why us Straight Guys can't meet a Good Woman anymore since many of them are Gay today.

Anonymous said...

As long as it's not more niglet kids.

Anonymous said...

hey dumbfucks, this is a joke:

joke (jk)
n.
1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4. Informal
a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
b. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.
v. joked, jok·ing, jokes
v.intr.
1. To tell or play jokes; jest.
2. To speak in fun; be facetious.
v.tr.
To make fun of; tease.
[Latin iocus; see yek- in Indo-European roots.]

Anonymous said...

You're* Looks like you are the definition of idiocy. Retard.

Anonymous said...

Everyone of us normal straight people know that it is Adam And Eve, and the others are just too sick to know that.

Anonymous said...

You're*

Anonymous said...

None of you assholes should have been born

Anonymous said...

This list is stupid. Homosexuality should be banned with a severe deterrant; it messes up our society.

Anonymous said...

Gay marriage is very Disgusting, especially when there are much more Gay women nowadays.

Anonymous said...

U fucking idiot homophobe number 3 is SO NOT TRUE a lot of straight parents have gay kids and those kids might be gay just to defy their parents and it could go the other way around with gay parents. You are such a fucking homophobe people have a goddamn right to do what they want to do or believe what they want to beleive. Just because your a Christian doesn't mean you can just shove your religion down peoples throats if you were a true Christian you would play for people you think are doing something wrong and not write on a stupid webpage against gays. fuck you and your pitiful homophobe followers and just leave gays alone you bastards

Anonymous said...

The world started off with adam and eve, not adam and john, or eve and sarah, homosexuality is like pollution, all it is is a mess that needs to be cleaned up

Anonymous said...

You're* :)

Anonymous said...

So your telling me that gay marriage is normal? Are you stupid males have penis's to reproduce, females have vaginas to reproduce. GAYS CANNOT REPRODUCE that's the whole point of "living" on earth. TAKE A SCIENCE CLASS DUMBASS

Anonymous said...

The only reason gay marriages last longer is because there is NO sexual conflict between the two sex's. Most marriages don't last long because of sexual friction or other means of sex. BUT THAT DOSENT MEAN ITS RIGHT. if you were born a male you NATURALLY like the other sex. It's impossible to like the other sex without forcing yourself to like it...thats just the way we were made and if you have a problem with that and try to defy the laws of nature you will die fairly quickly

Anonymous said...

I enjoy dumb gay people thinking this is literal. Those gay people should be the reason why gay marriage should be illegal. They can't genetically pass down stupid but they might be accidentally teach it.

Anonymous said...

I sincerely hope that you're trolling. If you're not, I will kindly point out the laundry list of logical fallacies in your argument.

Unknown said...

BLACK PEOPLE CAN MARRY WHITES U RACIST ASSS BITsCHH

Anonymous said...

god doesnt approve it, if he doesnt approve gay marriage, then i dont. If you are gay and mad at god for telling you that, than discuss with god and see what he thinks about you and this messed up world.

Anonymous said...

Gays are wrong,it should be illegal, God did not intend man to practice homosexuality with another gay person, God intended women and men to be brought forth as parents and couples, some gay people say and think their in love when theyre not because love comes from God and God is LOVE the feeling that a gay person feels towards another gay is not love its temptation because satan wants you to stray away from the path of life

Anonymous said...

Why can't people just understand that gay marriage is wrong

Anonymous said...

Guys if your wondering this is a joke. thankfully. i just deleted like a 500 word rant

Anonymous said...

I love it when gay people get angry. This was an amazing list, even if it was a joke. All the butthurt gays that read this are basically just pint-sized pricks that are too desperate to get in a REAL relationship that is actually straight. Good job!

Anonymous said...

Its Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve!!!!!!!

Bestchoicesinindia said...

great

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