12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

Thursday, February 4, 2010

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.


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262 comentarii:

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Anonymous said...

It's sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

It's sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

It's a joke

Anonymous said...

You're not very nice at all

Anonymous said...

Oh wow can you imagine having a straight president and straight people in cartoons encouraging people to be straight at a young age?

Anonymous said...

So is divorce but the divorce rate is 60% in America. And adultery. And lying, but we lie all the time. And looking at other people with lust, but society portrays everyone as sexy. Seriously, there's tons of things that are sins. Go complain about them too.

Grumpy cats said...

Can I join you

Grumpy cats said...

Wow you are a genius at arguments.

Grumpy cats said...

Can I join you

Grumpy cats said...

This guy is pro-gay making fun of the people who don't approve :)

Grumpy cats said...

"Under God" was added in the 50's when people were really conservative. In America you have the freedom of religion. The united states will fall soon anyway. If you haven't noticed, the gays aren't the problem with America. AMERICA is the problem with America.

Anonymous said...

This is a joke right??
These are terrible arguements..at least make it somewhat correct

Anonymous said...

I am embarassed by all you pro-gays who thought this was serious. This is just showing how stupid people are.

Anonymous said...

this is one of the stupidest thing ever like im not gay, but that doesnt matter! i wish that there was a dislike button like for real dude! they didnt choose to b gay anyway why do u think so many people go "in the closet" because they dont like the way they are but they should just b happy and u guys r ruining that hpw would u feel if everyone was saying that straight marrige should be illegal huh! ya i bet u guys would be like "well we just wanna be happy" well that's they want to there normal people and i am a christen ya, god said that he makes NO mistakes and to love everyone! you are not doing that! and if thatys the reason why u dont like them well then u should know that he also said its a sin to get earing or die ur hair or to have tattoes...ya. and he also said no sin is greater then an other haha bitches

Anonymous said...

this is not true at all

Anonymous said...

"Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will." what do u think the civil rights movement is about

Anonymous said...

I agree with number 8 because my dad 6 foot and I became 6 foot 6 its pretty weird. lol sarcasim

Anonymous said...

i cant tell if this commenter is being serious lol because seriously? u just wrote an essay stating the obvious =.= dam it learn how to read. what happened to the english language that kids cant pick up sarcasm no more

Anonymous said...

*You're

Anonymous said...

This is absolutely 100% true! People should live by this list!

Anonymous said...

IT IS NOT NORMAL WHATSOEVER

Anonymous said...

marriage should always be between a man and a woman, and it is bad enough with so many lesbians that are out there now is certainly the reason why us straight guys can't meet a good woman today. boy did God really messed up.

Anonymous said...

Sir tell the world that Gay marriage should be illegal

And By the way In Russia If two same sex gender be gay the'll get killed by the Russian Government

Go Russian's

Anonymous said...

This is the kind of ignorance that is killing the world. For your information, this country was started and blessed by God. "...One nation under God..." A quote from the United States of America's Pledge of Allegiance. What do you think that means? The god of gays? No. The Christian God is what this country was founded around. But these generations are letting this country fall like all the other great nations before us have fallen and have been destroyed, and we are next. Gay marriage, abortion, Obama, this country won't last another 75 years thanks to stupid people like yourselves. This is disgusting. We are now attacking the God who blessed us with this great nation for so long? Like rebellious children. Embarrassing.

Anonymous said...

Ignoramus.

Anonymous said...

WRONG! this country was founded around the Christian God. Ever said the pledge of allegiance before? Yes? Then you have stated that this nation was founded around God. Not for people who feel like doing whatever they want.

Anonymous said...

Its really not that serious :/

Anonymous said...

with so many gay women nowadays, even us straight men can't meet a good woman anymore.

Anonymous said...

I love how so many people don't understand that all of this is meant ironically :D Perfect example for dwindling human intelligence.

Unknown said...

I hope this is a joke

Anonymous said...

marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Anonymous said...

very obvious why it is so very hard for us straight guys looking for a good woman now.

Anonymous said...

Heh! Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it! These are the most ignorant, rediculous, childish arguments I've ever heard!

Anonymous said...

YOu are going to burn in hell. Say hello to Obama for me.

Anonymous said...

LOVE how when ANYONE questions homosexuality, or disagrees with homosexual boilerplate....the branding begins "WELL Mr. Man, you're just homophobic." Awwww....so, the ONLY opinions that count and need safeguarding are yours? (*I also dig the sardonic crappy-12 reasons list - very original you 15 year old).

Anonymous said...

you, good sir, are fabulous.

Anonymous said...

well with so many Gay Women nowadays, how do you expect many of us Straight Guys meeting a Decent Normal One Now?

Anonymous said...

The world is growing ever sooo weirder, it was always better in the old days. Nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

Adam And Eve.

Anonymous said...

The bible isn't little, actually its pretty big, and important. Btw if homosexuals have to work so hard to justify their actions, then they could be wrong. Just saying

Anonymous said...

Call me a Homophobe if you'd like. Only thing that makes it wrong to me is the unnaturalness to it. You can love another human being without having to be married? I love my friends, and would do anything for them, but I don't feel the need to marry them. Just explain it to me.

Anonymous said...

You are one of the few people that seem to have the right idea. Poor America, one of God's blessed countries, falling right into Satan's doorstep. It makes me really sad.

Anonymous said...

Okay so personally, whether you're anti gay or for gay. It's totally cool, it's your opinion and everyone is allowed to have one. Although, this article is extremely false. Religion shouldn't be a factor in regarding gay rights because America has the Amendment Freedom of Religion. That's your first mistake. Second mistake is that straight couples do have gay children. It happens. Sorry. Honestly after reading this I am hoping that you are a troll because non of these are actual facts so yeah ok

Anonymous said...

This is awesome i think gays should be illegall i love the 9th

Anonymous said...

Brilliant list but the comments depress me. SATIRE, look it up people.

Anonymous said...

In reference to #3, I was raised by straight parents and guess what I'm lesbian!!!

Anonymous said...

even if your being sarcastic that's still a horrible thing to say

Anonymous said...

"3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children."

Then how did the gay ones come into existence in the first place?

I'm against gay marriages but this list is just plain stupid.

Anonymous said...

Don't think he gets it

Anonymous said...

I certainly agree 100 percent.

Anonymous said...

It is very Obvious why us Straight Guys can't meet a Good Woman anymore since many of them are Gay today.

Anonymous said...

hey dumbfucks, this is a joke:

joke (jk)
n.
1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4. Informal
a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
b. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.
v. joked, jok·ing, jokes
v.intr.
1. To tell or play jokes; jest.
2. To speak in fun; be facetious.
v.tr.
To make fun of; tease.
[Latin iocus; see yek- in Indo-European roots.]

Anonymous said...

Everyone of us normal straight people know that it is Adam And Eve, and the others are just too sick to know that.

Anonymous said...

You're*

Anonymous said...

Gay marriage is very Disgusting, especially when there are much more Gay women nowadays.

Anonymous said...

You're* :)

Anonymous said...

The only reason gay marriages last longer is because there is NO sexual conflict between the two sex's. Most marriages don't last long because of sexual friction or other means of sex. BUT THAT DOSENT MEAN ITS RIGHT. if you were born a male you NATURALLY like the other sex. It's impossible to like the other sex without forcing yourself to like it...thats just the way we were made and if you have a problem with that and try to defy the laws of nature you will die fairly quickly

Anonymous said...

I sincerely hope that you're trolling. If you're not, I will kindly point out the laundry list of logical fallacies in your argument.

Anonymous said...

god doesnt approve it, if he doesnt approve gay marriage, then i dont. If you are gay and mad at god for telling you that, than discuss with god and see what he thinks about you and this messed up world.

Anonymous said...

Guys if your wondering this is a joke. thankfully. i just deleted like a 500 word rant

Anonymous said...

Its Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve!!!!!!!

Bestchoicesinindia said...

great

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