12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal

Thursday, February 4, 2010

  1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

  2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

  3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

  4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

  5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

  6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

  7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

  8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

  9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

  10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

  11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

  12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.


via
Follow Blame it on the Voices on Twitter | Blame it on the Voices on Facebook

If you liked this post, you can subscribe to the Blame It On The Voices RSS feed and get your regular fix


373 comentarii:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 373   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

So, when I read the first sentence I thought you were another blockheaded homophobe. But this is great!!

Shopping guide said...

It is a nice helpful blog.
BrandShowRooms.com

Anonymous said...

i only agree with the 5th one because
most people get a divorce before they even try to save the marriage when it really can work and i believe the wife and husband both should claim each other but this post is soooo pointless your just saying this stuff to be sarcastic its not funny, some people do think like that and its ok its their point of view people can change over time if they want to or not.

Anonymous said...

For a start the world doesn't need more children the population growth is increasing all the time. Secondly many straight parents raise homosexual children, as if god were to exist adam and eve the first parents were not homosexual so therefore when did and how would the birth of homosexuality take place using your ridiculous theory.And this, "way that hanging around tall people will make you tall" BULLSHIT!!!!
addressing point 6 if you geneuinly believe that that would make you support/be comfortable with an unjust system, and hereby how would that make something morally correct.
Finally whats to say that homosexuality is more normal than the straight counter-part how do you know. You speek of literal scientific logic however this point(one) is based on something purely metaphorical BS that you probably read in you little bible.

The way you conduct yourself is distgusting,
Life is precious...Don't spend yours being wrong!

Anonymous said...

TOOO TRUE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

WELL done looks like someone was put in their place!

Anonymous said...

So you didn't realize this is a joke then?

Anonymous said...

Wow seriously the fucks your prob and just about everything you put isn't even a fact this is just ignorance at its best great job at sounding like a dumb ass

Anonymous said...

This made me want to punch myself in the cunt. Your the definition of idiocy.

Anonymous said...

these reasons are soooo f.ucking stupid! If youre gonna go against gay marriage, at least come up with good reason, dumbasses.

Anonymous said...

guys, this was obviously a joke... if you guys can't see that, YOU'RE the ones that are total dumbfucks, not the writer...

Anonymous said...

That was amazing. It is sad that some people on here think you were being serious. What does that say about our society...

Anonymous said...

wow.. i think some people didnt realize this was a joke? ... how stupid do u feel when you fight sarcasm lol.. it really shows how silly people are.

Anonymous said...

I loled at 4 and 8... I seriously cannot believe some of you took this seriously, I mean come on...

Anonymous said...

It's hilarious (but also a little sad) that a great majority of the people here do not realize this is a joke. It's on many websites posted sarcastically.
#8 is funny. :) It is true, though, because hanging around squirrels will turn you into a squirrel. <-- sarcasm
This is a really funny stab at homophobes! Bravo!

orangemr said...

is this a joke?

Anonymous said...

FUCK YOU!!!!!

Anonymous said...

well obviously straight parents can have gay children because look at me dick face. gay people want to be together because they deeply love each other not for sex like you straight people do or for kids. And i am quite sure that gay parents could raise a straight child. Your children are what they want. I am going to laugh my face off when your children are homosexuals! gay marriage will be meaningful because they want to get married, and people wouldn't stop marrying straight people anyway. there will always be straight people and there will always be gay people. its a fact that you CAN NOT change no matter how many laws there are. we will still be together. i really think something is wrong with you because women are no body's proporty. i don't see a sold sign on my forehead do i? no. and if you are talking about religion then did you know that there we're homosexuals back in the time of jesus (so says the bible). and people are gay by choice. i am not asking other people to be gay we are just asking for our rights to be together just like you can be with who you want to be with. and i have succedded just fine without a male charachter in my life. i never had a dad and i don't care if i ever will. and obviously states can adapt to gay marriage because some already have and have you noticed that they are doing better than the states that haven't legalized gay marriage yet?

Anonymous said...

you fuking twat if gay is elegal then your fukin mum is elegal people be gay by choice you twat

Anonymous said...

Marriage- the social institution under which a MAN and WOMAN establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

Anonymous said...

Where did you get your information from? Because I think this a load of bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said....

who ever wrote this is sick and should be thrown in jail. JERK!

Anonymous said...

its funny how people diddnt get the real point lol this shit was great and im useing it on my argumentive paper at school

Anonymous said...

You honestly think repeating this all over the internet will convince people to believe that being homosexual is wrong? There are so many reason why homosexual marriage should be legalized but there are only a few reasons you guys state why homosexual marriage is wrong which is sad because you guys feel so strongly about it but only share with each other the same reasons over and over in stead of having good reasons to why homosexuals shouldn't marry.

Kappy said...

You guys are very stupid, whoever is pissed about this blog. CLEARLY this poster is making a point to ANTI-GAY people that THEIR reasons for people being against gays is WRONG. If you couldn't tell just by reading it, you're either extremely naive, extremely stupid, or extremely sensitive.

Kappy said...

You guys are very stupid, whoever is pissed about this blog. CLEARLY this poster is making a point to ANTI-GAY people that THEIR reasons for people being against gays is WRONG. If you couldn't tell just by reading it, you're either extremely naive, extremely stupid, or extremely sensitive.

Anonymous said...

you are wrong. gay marriage WILL be legal in all parts of america some day. you are so dumb.

Anonymous said...

you are out of your god damn mind

Anonymous said...

This is really crappy. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Gay marrige is just that..... GAY!

Anonymous said...

It's a JOKE highlighting the retarded arguments used by some homophobes people THAT OK?

Anonymous said...

haha....i gotta say, it was a lot funnier reading everyone's comments than it was reading the 12 reasons up there. stupid people are so amusing.

Anonymous said...

This post is pro gay marriage. It sarcastically mocks all the reasons why gay marraige should not be allowed. This was actually written by university of florida students for lgbt day. I find it humorous.

Anonymous said...

I will marry john someday and we shall not illegal..i love being gay

Anonymous said...

This is horrible. I'm for same-sex marriage all the way. I hate how I have to write an essay on why it should stay illegal. But seriously this list is worong.

Anonymous said...

just because you come from a straight family.. who ever wrote this had a stick up there ass, you dont think about the feeling homosexuals have. they love their partners just as much as straight people love their spouse

Anonymous said...

if i seen you i would kill you..

Anonymous said...

okay i hope this was a joke cuz if its not then this is totally fucked up

Anonymous said...

this is the slowest shit i have read in my life. if you want to live this way go back in time.

Anonymous said...

you know it's people like you that make me want to blow a hole through your brain and have your religion corrupted mind disposed of...just saying

Kappy said...

Are you effin serious? you STILL don't see this is a joke? Re-read it again and think "this is a pro-gay list" and you will see it IS. Really you don't see it? They're saying anti-gay people think gays shouldn't be married because of children they can't have (even though infertile couples and old people CAN be married and they can't produce so what's the difference?)

Or saying that in America we only have one religion (this is a joke because anyone who knows America knows it's the land of the free and home of the brave. the constitution even says practice right to free religion. the fact that we have multiple in America means that to this poster it's retarded to have opinions on gay marriage based on one religious background because it's also the separation of church and state.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what's funnier, the post or the comments. How old are the people that took this seriously? 4?

Anonymous said...

Also point out that the people who took it seriously didn't know how to use proper English or grammar.

Anonymous said...

I love how some of the people commenting on this don't realize it's sarcasm. This is wonderful!

Anonymous said...

If your basis for promoting gay marriage lies in the above lame brained excuses you have problems. First off I would like to say that most straight people dont really think about what the homosexual community is actually doing 1. Coming in contact with feces on a regular basis
2. demoralizing the very constitution on which our country was founded 3. if you think our country was not founded on god and the bible you are in serious trouble go ahead and take god out of the equation and see what happens to our country you never know maybe a dog or pet being able to sign a contract for marriage will be legal I mean after all we are actually considering making gay marriage legal and that is just a preposterous!!!

Anonymous said...

whoever wrote this is dumb as fuck because first off i have a cousin that is straight and her parents are gay so what do you mean by "gay parents raise gay children" because my cousin aint gay. and when you said children will never succeed without a male and female at home thats a lie because i only have a famale figure in my home and im doing just fine , getting ready to graduate and everything and going to college in the fall... so get your facts straight sweetie :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should point out that you are really for gay marriage as opposed to it? Very misleading.... Gay marriage should not be allowed just for the fact that it conflicts with religion. Our country is founded on the concept that we are free to do as we please. Obviously homosexuality is a freedom we have but the institution that makes marriage legal is the government.... the government defines a marriage as a man and woman. not two men or two women. obviously procreation has a lot to do with this... Does not being married affect a homosexuals love?

Anonymous said...

i agree with the awesomely right person who said whoever wrote this is dumb as fuck. gay parents definitely do not raise gay children and the whole thing about being tall and shit is total fucking bullshit. and i know that this is supposed to be sarcastic and funny but its not. so shutup cuz u aint funny

Anonymous said...

wow... you guys are so fuckin funny bravo... i love gay people strait people can go suck one :)

Anonymous said...

NOPE ! I'd rather go fuck one instead ;)
WAIT .... or should i just go get my pussy licked from the back then fuck one... hmmm... yup i think ill do that ha !

koko said...

over 10,000 cases of gay bashing is reported each year, thanks to gay rights activists making people think that being gay is alright. i guess this proves them wrong.

Anonymous said...

YOU LOT MUST BE AMERICAN . YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM

Anonymous said...

YOU LOT MUST BE AMERICAN . YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM

Anonymous said...

Youre a homosexual idiot

Anonymous said...

if you actually think this is serious...you're an idiot...and this is not sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

this is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL This is the funniest !
hahahah these are actually some shit reasons they try to give for not being able to get married. Then their reasons are just juxtaposed everyday, like Britney Spears' 55 hour marriage.

Anonymous said...

This is really offensive. I am gay and happy with my partner. We wish to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. I dont' want to have to call him my partner. I wanna call him my husband <3

Anonymous said...

LOLz

Anonymous said...

God made a woman and a man... Animal parents get it that same-sex will not produce children... Gay people didn't worry to have God in their mind, that's exactly why devil gave gay's this kind of mind (homosexuals will disagree with this). I'm not trying to offend anyone and God loves everyone equally; i just want you to know the truth.. being gay is a sin.

Anonymous said...

one reason y people go for gays: disagreeing with God.
where did you hear that a famous gay person had a great life and died in grate piece?.. why are people going against nature!!!!!

Anonymous said...

go to russia and you'll die for being gay... i respect people who have common sense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

How the fuck can you people not recognize satire? It's obvious that whoever posted this is very pro-gay marriage. Jesus christ, people.

Anonymous said...

faggots

Anonymous said...

Learn SARCASM, idiots

props to the author. will be saving this to use against the homophobic fundies

Anonymous said...

:) i do believe there will be marriages with pets soon.. since many ppl started threating their pets like kids... many replace kids with dogs for example.

Anonymous said...

People who can't use punctuation or even come close to proper grammar, should be allowed to marry. :0p

Anonymous said...

LOL!! I meant should NOT be allowed to marry !!!!

Anonymous said...

You cant legalize gay marriage because of the straight line cube power interfering with the narrow cubic sphere of the homosexual belief.

Anonymous said...

THE FUNNIEST THING IS ALL THE PRO-GAY PEOPLE ANGRY AT THIS ARTICLE!! WHEN IT'S *OBVIOUSLY* A JOKE AND FILLED WITH SARCASM AND PRO-GAY!!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE???????????? UGH. OUR COUNTRY IS SO FILLED WITH DUMB PEOPLE!

Anonymous said...

Wow , is all I can say. I can see if someone read this, and thought this was anti gay. But, wouldn't you eventually catch on??..wow!

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness, I love this post. It makes my gay heart happy. I honestly don't know how people don't recognize this as satire. Thanks for all the silly comments, people ;D

Anonymous said...

This is sarcasm, it is a joke and it actually makes me lose faith in humanity to see people thinking that the writer is being serious

Anonymous said...

Wait. People are complaining that this guy is a stupid homophobe who is using illogical arguments????

THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT. Sarcasm, my dear, learn it.

This is pointing out the flaws in arguments that are often made *against* gay marriage.

You are raging against the wrong person, silly.

Anonymous said...

People people, chill the fuck out. Jesus. Haha, don't take a satirical piece, a fantastic one that is, so seriously. Sheesh. I liked it. :]

Anonymous said...

fucking hilarious, i think i enjoyed the stupid comments more than the post too

Anonymous said...

this brings to light how painfully uneducated so many people are, I was always told that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, if that's true then how STUPID are all the people that didn't even realize it was a joke? it's the same kind of stupidity that drives the gay-hatred that this article is trying to ridicule. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HUMOUR IMBECILES.

Anonymous said...

U guys r taking this way tooooo serious....

Anonymous said...

If a woman can sign a marriage contract I don't see why a dog can't. Not only is the dog smarter but it's less likely to get rabies and when you do you can shoot it.

Anonymous said...

For those of you who think this is a anti-gay post, re-read the post and draw the correct conclusion = THIS IS PRO GAY MARRIAGE! The twelve reasons listed are very common statements by a lot of ignorant people about why gay marriage should be illegal...but the author of this post is just drawing attention to how utterly ridiculous those reasons are. THE AUTHOR IS BEING SARCASTIC. Go back and read it with that in mind...

Fateema G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

If ya have ta explain it, it ain't a joke.

Anonymous said...

1. HOUSES and CARS and FOOD aren't natural...(implies that who ever wrote this is a robot)
2. It's called SPREM AND EGG DONATION and the world is OVERPOPULTAED ENOUGH(Implies that who ever wrote this is LONELY)
3. MAN and WOMAN = BABY, A GAY BABY (implies that who ever wrote this wishes they could fall in love)
4. Marriage is marriage, not Gay marriage and STRAIGHT marriage (Implies that who ever wrote this is in love with their 22nd cousin, through BLOOD)
5. Marriage is nothing but a pen and paper...Brunttes CANNOT marry brunttes...NO ONE in MARRIAGE is HAPPY (Implies that who ever wrote this is a offended by the many different BREEDS of DOGS)
6. FREE COUNTRY!!!!!!!! (Implies that who ever wrote this was kicked out of their house is living in a box)
7. Babies are GREEDy. Protesting against this is WRATHing. Sin is not supported either... (Implies that who ever wrote this thought the world was really gonna end on May 21st)
8. You are what you eat. You eat what you are. I'm 4'9 and all my friends and family are, 5'5... (Implies that who ever wrote this is a shape-shifter)
9. Incest? That's is ok though, because it's supported by religion (Implies that who ever wrote this lost their virginty to a sibling)
10. Only lived with mom my whole life...STRAIGHT (Implies that who ever wrote this is disliked by EVERYONE in the family...even their 22nd cousin and their viriniy taking sibling)
11. I don't really see how marriage changes anything...except one more tree killed because the couple decided to divorce eight years later... (Implies that who ever wrote this HASN't changed since they broke their arm after falling off their dinosaur)
12. What happened to Equal rights? (Implies that who ever wrote this fears everything that's the same...meaning...HUMANKIND...TWO PENCILS...TWINS...and THEIR REFELCTION because there is now TWO)

:D This WHOLE list of reasons why is should be illegal made me laugh because of what it was implying!! Enjoy my reasons of why these reasons are STUPID...

Anonymous said...

hahahaha scroll below to find both heterosexual and homosexual folks not understanding that it is a joke on the ideas of right wing republicans, laughed while i was reading the 12 reasons, shit my pants when i found people getting upset and taking the post in a serious manner

pwl said...

‎13. Canada proved that gay marriage doesn't work as the country has been engaged in civil war for the past seven years and is all but utterly destroyed itself since gay marriage became legal.

Anonymous said...

sarcasm is dead. i weep for our future

Anonymous said...

how are most of you even smart enough to use a computer but you can't even read?

Anonymous said...

Funny post. Unfortunate that it seems to have brought out the idiots in the world who dont understand what the fuck they are reading.

MYIQ>1 said...

Y'ALL GOT FUCKING TROLLED

Anonymous said...

To the idiotic people commenting: Sarcasm. Look it up. Morons.

To the poster: Awesome post.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, well done.

What is sad is the number of people who posted vicious and frighteningly ignorant comments on here. Clearly they have never heard of black humor or sarcasm, or haven't the ability to not interpret things literally.
Hmmm, this won't help will it? I have the feeling that words with too many syllables will also confound and offend them.
At any rate, nicely done.

Anonymous said...

Woah, that's good satire. Bloody excellent work. Some of the commenters in this thread need to learn what satire is however.

Anonymous said...

I so knew it would be just another dickhead masquerading as a homophobe who wud actually speak for the homos. Inbred retard.

Anonymous said...

This is gay.

Anonymous said...

Okay. I don't give a shit if this was a joke. I'm a gay kid being raised by a STRAIGHT SINGLE mother. Maybe one day I'll want to marry my girlfriend and we adopt a baby who's straight. It's fucking normal you dickwad.
Dogs can't legally sign a marriage contract or any contract for that matter. Being around a tall person does not make you taller. (Just ask my girlfriend.)

So, in short, fuck you. This was a horrible joke.

Anonymous said...

To the idiots who don't get the joke and are actually arguing... PLEASE KILL YOURSELVES!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you guys. Calm your tits, take a joke, and don't be so sensitive.

Anonymous said...

If sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, then ad hominem and cussing are the lowest forms of argument. Stop calling the poster a "fucking dickwad" or an "inbred retard" and learn the art of satire.

Anonymous said...

GOD BLESS THE USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anonymous said...

This is awesome! and to those who just can't understand the satire, please kill yourself.

Anonymous said...

This is Pro Gay Marriage lol not anti

Anonymous said...

I think the lesson here is that, gay or straight, there are stupid people everywhere. This was satire, and very good satire in my opinion. Kudos for pointing out the ridiculousness of the arguments against legalizing same-sex marriage. I am straight, but not narrow!

Anonymous said...

Rednecks and self righteous twats crack me up. Keep posting all angry fellas. It's freaking hilarious.

RangBacon said...

It's no coincidence that the people commenting negatively on this thread sound like uneducated fools, but I wonder if we are any better for pointing out their shortcomings. I wish it wasn't so darn amusing to make fun their ignorance.

Anonymous said...

Jebus. Frankly, people who can't work out humour shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. :\

Anonymous said...

people are so stupid! this was great!

Anonymous said...

READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING:

JUST TO BE CLEAR. THIS POST IS PURELY SARCASM. OBVIOUSLY, THIS PERSON IS PRO-GAY RIGHTS. SO STOP GETTING YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST, CALM DOWN, AND READ THE POST. IT'S AMAZING.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious how stupid some people are. If you are that incapable of sensing sarcasm you should be shot in the face.

Anonymous said...

Ahahahahahahaha
You angry, angry morons just made my night
Thankyou, all of you

Anonymous said...

This post is a riot!!! As for the gigantic proportional blowout, I have only 1 thing to say, if you don't like it, don't do it!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!

Anonymous said...

To everyone who is being. "You're all wrong, gays are okay." Blah, Blah, blah... This is meant to be a joke. It's pretty much saying the bull-shit reasons for illegal gay marriage is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Reading these posts proves one thing.


Yanks are dumb.

Anonymous said...

hahhaha, epic. from now on, even though it shuld be obvious, post "THIS IS SARCASM" if youre beeing sarcastic. And to all the ppl who didnt understand this post. Please refrain from reproducing, or marrying homo/hetro. Thank you

Anonymous said...

Lotta derps here don't get sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

the sad part is the retards posting here do not realize the writer is clearly supportive of gay marriage and made each part a sarcastic version of normal points made by religious weirdos who think gay people are going to hell.

IT WAS A JOKE PEOPLE. READ IT CAREFULLY AND ITS OBVIOUS!

Anonymous said...

To the guy or gal that said they should put a "this is sarcasm" disclaimer at the top of the page:

I've found this list in several places over the last year or so (as I've searched it to show every person I can think of), and many of those places have in fact included very obvious "this is sarcasm" or "this is satire" type headings...and there were still pages upon pages of people getting angry at the injustice and insensitivity of this post. Apparently even being blatantly obvious and spelling it out just isn't enough for some people.

I don't understand how somebody could even get through #1 without realizing it's satirical. The Onion must be so disappointed.

Anonymous said...

To everyone who seems to think this is serious or anti-gay, instead of pro-gay satire making fun of the anti-gay arguments:

You probably think the Colbert Report is actually a serious right-wing news show. It's the exact same kind of humour (and some of these have actually been used on that show, I believe).

Anonymous said...

I agree that gays should not marry but most of the information is incorrect (bullshit) especially #5 (racist) and #8 you don't get tall from hanging around tall people. You were obviously dropped as a kid. Stupid moron.

Anonymous said...

I find it unbelievable that after all these posts people are still writing to the author about being anti-gay. it's a joke. and whoever pointed out that each person that didn't get it wrote with incorrect grammar was completely right. what idiots. ITS A WONDERFUL LIST OF HOW STUPID ALL THE REASONS TO NOT ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE ARE RIDICULOUS. IT'S PRO GAY-RIGHTS. how many people have to post this for the others to stop being so dumb?

Anonymous said...

Well, I guess it's nice that so many people want to defend gay marriage but... you guys really need to learn when someone is being serious and when they're not! Lets applaud their good intentions though, eh folks?! ;)

Anonymous said...

"Bawk Bawk" "I am a moo cow"~anti gay rights

"What an Idiot"~PRO GAY RIGHTS

Anonymous said...

While I appreciate a good satire, this one completely misses its mark for several reasons.

1: The only reason government has its hand in marriages at all is for two reasons- taxes, and property division in the case of a divorce, which a staggering percentage of marriages end in.

2: Following that point 1 is correct, let's take a step down another related path of logic- "Marriage" is a religious institution. It originates with religious institutions. Those who want to be "married" by in a religious institution are incorrect in seeking the government to make it allowed or disallowed either way- when you seek to partake in a religious tradition, it is on you to follow the traditions of that religious institution, [i]regardless of whether or not you find the logic of those traditions bigoted or not.[/i] You do not walk into planned parenthood and scream for them to teach abstinence only- therefore, you do not walk into the catholic church and demand they allow gay marriages. (You can, but it's about as effective as pouring water on an oil fire.)

3: Following the logic of point 2, Civil Unions should exist within the government's jurisdiction, with EXACTLY the same legal rights and privileges afforded to a heterosexual married couple, including how property and assets are split up in a divorce.

4: Gay people who want the government to compel the church to allow them to be married are stupid. So are religious fanatics who want the government to disallow civil unions with identical privileges. Both are seeking to infringe on each others rights- the right of the Church to follow a tradition that's thousands of years old, and the right of the people to sleep with and share their lives with whomever they damn well please.

That is all.

Anonymous said...

lmao, stupid americans, it was funny and obviously pro gay.

Anonymous said...

OKAY PEOPLE Before you go post your angry comment read this again with a sarcastic voice. Why? IT'S A JOKE. It's mocking homophobic logic.
And if you didn't get it was a joke than WTF you're stupid. "since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful" DUH! Sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

Sick brain deliver sick logic. That's called free country.

Anonymous said...

so im guessing half of the world doesn't understand sarcasm.... this is clearly a pro-gay marriage post.
i can't believe that anyone would be confused, the fact that multiple people didn't understand is mind-blowing.

Chicken Wings Can Fly said...

Dear people,
Marriage is for people who love one another.
I can see why gay people cannot be married by the church, but frankly god and love are two separate things. Gay people should be allowed to get married by the state even if they're not allowed to by the church.It's enough to be a little different but we don't have to complicate good peoples lives with laws that make no sense. If divorced people can get remarried, why cant gay people get married? Oh and to all you people that masturbate out there, You're having sex with yourself aren't you :)tehe

The post was amusing:D

Anonymous said...

Reading the comments on this makes me want to repeatedly BANG MY HEAD UPON A BRICK WALL.

HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE SARCASM IN THIS?????

The writer's of this list are PRO-GAY marriage! Open your eyes, open your mind, your ignorance is completely humiliating. I'm truly embarrassed for you. It is commenters like you who live up to Idiocracy in real life.

Lawlietisalive said...

To each of these reason I say something

1) Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

-Actually, homosexuality has been observed in nature as well as human beings.

2) Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

-The worlds population is 7 billion+, if anything we need to put limiting factors on our population if we want to live on this planet for another century

3) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

-I'm gay and my parents were heterosexual

4) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

-Marriage is only as meaningful as you want it to be, if you truly want marriage, and you really get married, it will feel like paradise, nothing can take that away.

5) Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

-This post is just pure wrong.

6) Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

-Caucasian people are a minority in these days.

7) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

-America has a history of breeding intolerance such as yours, religion is losing it's hold on society and I can't wait to see the pope begging for change on the street once people finally discard that part of the world.

8) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

-Gay marriage will only encourage already gay people to come into the open and be proud of who they are.

9) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

-Beastiality is illegal, gay marriage is simply unrecognised, learn your laws.

10) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

-I was raised by a single mother with my father living far away, I'm probably the brightest student in my school and I believe my upbringing is quite to 'blame'.

11) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

-We can adapt to anything we desire, that is why we're still a species.

Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

-Civil union is a disgrace to a homosexual couple, what if you had to be 'Civil Unioned' instead of married and gays got that right? it's a insult to be forced to take second place when first is only a few words away.

Anonymous said...

Just a question, everyone posting here has read this right? I mean really read this? Some of you clearly haven't. I appreciate the title may be inflammatory to some, but just because some individuals turn off their brain to ignorance doesn't mean you have an excuse to. The author is clearly parodying the commonly given reasons against gay marriage.

Nothing shows ignorance, more than the self righteous attitudes some have taken to a legitimate and entertaining blog post.

Whisker said...

To all those people who didn't get the joke - no matter if you're hetero- or homosexual:

Please don't breed. Ever. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

you still dont do some sarcastic shit like that.
people have freakinq feelings.
its just like practically lauqhinq at blacks for beinq slaves, or lauqhinq at whites for havinq lice, its just not riqht.

Anonymous said...

what is wrong with people! I can't believe how many of you are defending gay rights. So you have a guy who craves sex with other guys and you think this is normal? next we're gonna start giving equal rights to pedophiles! btw this is totally my opinion and not based on religion.

Anonymous said...

To the people calling the person that wrote this a homophobe and that their reasons made no sense to ban gay marriage... Have you ever heard of sarcasm. The author is using sarcasm to prove a point that the reasons people give against gay marriage are actually unfounded even for straight people. The person is ridiculous the reasons people give as to why gay ppl shouldn't marry by using sarcasm to point out that the reasons they use against it would also apply to straight people therefore banning gay marriage in the end makes as much sense as banning straight marriage. Read it properly and don't base judgement by a title. You can't judge a book by its cover Remember.
SKLC

Adam said...

who ever wrote this or agrees to this has to be the most ignorant people I've ever heard. every number on there is flawed and can be disproved. homosexuality has been around just as long as hetero. divorced parents raise kids just as well as married dysfunctional parents. The majority of people agree with equal rights for all man kind. if homosexuality wasn't natural then it wouldn't exist. Celeb marriages are not done with love but publicity and mental illness; unlike gay/straight marriage that is true.
ps IM STRAIGHT AND I AM FOR GAY MARRIAGE!

Britany said...

LOL@ EVERYONE WHO THINKS THIS IS REAL.

It's obviously a fucking troll, anyone who can't see that shouldn't be allowed to access the internet.

Anonymous said...

There are a few fallacies in your reasoning (Mind you I stand neutral to this topic).
1. Unlike gay marriage, the things that you named as unnatural actually help people. (Except for polyester, but that should probably be illegal, anyway.)
4. That particular marriage was annulled, showing how "meaningful" it actually was. It's no longer actually considered a marriage.
7. There isn't only one religion that opposes homosexual tendencies. Most mainstream monotheistic religions consider homosexuality as a sin. The religion to which you're (no doubt) referring to only considers it a sin, while some others actually put people to death for it.
8. Homosexuality is a behavior, unlike growing taller. That's genetic. And saying that homosexuality is also a gene is slightly discriminatory, since homosexuality can be considered maladaptive behavior under psychological definition and thus would make it a mutation or abnormality.
9. People are not so much worried about human-to-animal marriages as they are about polygamy and incest. Your sister can sign a marriage just as well as any other women. And so can three women at the same time.
10. Kids raised by single parents often feel like there's a missing person in their life and usually fill in the missing parent role with another role model. This shouldn't be argued with single parents, but instead with the fact that it's about two parents being to raise a child well, not just one.
12. Separate but equal laws never actually stayed true to their names; they were never. If gay marriages were just put under a different title that is inoffensive to most religions and gave the same exact benefits (written out clearly in the law, which the Jim Crow laws did not), it would be fine. Quote Shakespeare: "A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet."

All your other arguments were fine (at least I didn't find anything wrong with them. But give them to a pro. I'm just a high school kid researching for debate class).

Anonymous said...

this is so cleverly written! good work

Anonymous said...

n im a high schooler researchin too

Anonymous said...

whoever wrote this is dumb as fuck. seriously go play in traffic or burn in a fire. my mom is a lesbian and my dad is gay. my brother and i are straight and are in good, healthy relationships. We were raised well. and until you experience it you should keep your mouth shut. its idiots like you that keeps our country like this. in terrible condition. People who say things like you did are actually in the closet. you should just come out and be happy for the 1st time in your pythetic life. and when your parents, friends all end up hating u NOT because ur GAY but bc you've been lying to them, don't go reaching out to the gay community. go fuck yourself since no one else will.

Anonymous said...

Lmao.

Anonymous said...

You must be real dumb. People are goddamn people. God loves gays, love dogs, cats, rock and who knows what the fuck this mythical guy loves. Thing is, people deserve to love whoever the fuck they want. So what if a guy loves a guy or a female lovves a female. We are all equal and we are all normal! Nothing is weird about being gay, straight, bi, tans, etc. Life is Life. Your living in it, so deal with it nigga!

Anonymous said...

Plus, we are not in the 1900s anymore. Go screw jump off a cliff.

Anonymous said...

oh funny guy, come back to reality all of you.

Anonymous said...

majority of you are all dumbe assholes because blacks can marriage whites u dumb fucks and i believe the reason for why majoirty not all of u are scared of gay marriage is because your hick ass marriages are fucked up and you are mad that a gay marriage may be better than your's well sucks for you u dumbs ass bitches because i am black and my grandfather is white bitch and i'm not dumb i'm very educated wish i could say the same for you dumb racist hoes

Anonymous said...

that awkward moment when sarcasm doesn't reach many people...

Anonymous said...

Oh, my God! What is wrong with you people!? This is SATIRE! It's SARCASM! Stop calling someone insults and slanderous words while you're too ignorant to realize this wasn't serious and was making a point through sarcasm!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's a joke. Shut the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

LOL congrats u got trolled! haha this made my day

Anonymous said...

all of the morons that didn't understand the sarcasm also have poor grammar. correlation? i think so. there is no hope for humanity, thank you dear idiots for being living proof.

Anonymous said...

by the way, to the person a few comments up, pedophiles do have equal rights. serial killers, rapists, any criminal you can think of has the right to get married - even while they are in prison. in amurrica it's okay to kill other humans, but you better not be a fucking faggot! ;)

Anonymous said...

At first i though this was serious and was like D:< but then i got to 5 and was like lol
Pro gay marriage!

Anonymous said...

wow you are a fucking idiot

Anonymous said...

It is truly scary that some morons thought this was an anti-gay post. Proves my theory that there are total idiots all around us, all the time. Walking around as if they were normal. Talking and consuming and wasting space.

Anonymous said...

The moment i read old people can't get married i lol'd. Well played good sir.
Trololololo.....

Anonymous said...

haha i laughed at all of the points...silly people

Brisa Rios said...

This is great. Who is the author i would love to use it in my research paper?

Anonymous said...

I think that this list of yours is bull shit and is a silly exuse to put a large amount of people out of there place!

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think this person is a complete fool who doesn't know anything

Anonymous said...

IF YOU CAN'T TELL THAT THIS IS A JOKE, THEN YOU ARE THE IDIOT, NOT THE WRITER! THIS IS BRILLIANT SARCASM TO COMBAT HOMOPHOBIA!

Julie said...

Why is it that every time this post shows up, people don't get it? Do that many people really think somebody who knows the word "theocracy" somehow doesn't know that America isn't one? Or "hanging around tall people will make you tall"—is there anyone in the WORLD stupid enough to make that claim earnestly? This is even less subtle than Swift's "Modest Proposal."

Actually, there are people who think Swift is serious too. Oh lord.

Anonymous said...

Oh man.... The people who don't get that this is a joke are perhaps funnier than this post.

Anonymous said...

Apparently like, 90% of the world don't know what sarcasm is. This entire post is sarcastic and is MAKING FUN OF HOMOPHOBES. people are idiots.

Anonymous said...

how are people not getting that THIS IS SATIRICAL! in translation, the guy is PRO gay marriage... wow.

Anonymous said...

Gee, isn't this bullcrap? If anything, you guys should know that these reasons are true, whether the writer's being sarcastic or not. I mean, just encouraging homosexuality has brought upon crazy antics in the world. One day, the US is going to have a gay president, and there will be homosexual characters in kids cartoons, which will encourage homosexuality at a younger age. Heck, maybe even heterosexual marriage will be illegal, and to have children, you will be forced to donate to a sperm bank, because that's what the world is coming to.

Anonymous said...

"Straight parents only raise straight children."

Since when has that been true???

Anonymous said...

is there something wrong with you..

Anonymous said...

oh my... would a true homophobe use Britney as an example or say single parents can't raise kids?? It is so obviously a piss take haha

Anonymous said...

gay is awsome!

Anonymous said...

this is a load of horseshit i was raised by straight parents and i'm a LESBIAN. The only bad thing about gays and lesbians is that they are being killed and bullied for being who they are!

Anonymous said...

OMFG!!! It's the stupidest thing I've read in my life DX

Anonymous said...

one of the posts says 3.Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children you are either ignorant or un educated in society. im bi sexual and from strait parents know your facts before you tell the world you opinion.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahaha, this is brilliant! The comments of people taking this seriously just make it funnier :')

Anonymous said...

1.There is a difference between people and commodities
2.People can will themselves to be gay at anytime. Short people can’t will themselves to be tall
3.Just because dogs don’t have legal standing now doesn’t mean they won’t have it in the future. Remember blacks didn’t have legal standing 100 years ago but they do now. Oh, should a quadriplegic not be able to marry if they can’t “sign” the marriage contract?
4.Answered in #3
5.Just because I steal money doesn’t mean that I lessen the value of people who work for theirs.
6.Straight marriages are still valid even if they can’t reproduce. That would be like saying a human isn’t a human unless they have all their appendages.
7.Children become adults and make their own decisions.
8.If the law is greater than religion then why bring this up? Religion to you is like an opinion of how to run a household.
9.Children do better when their is a mom and dad who participate in rearing the child.
10.Gay marriage isn’t an innovation that makes our lives all the better.

Anonymous said...

#1.GAYS are proven to have and spread more STD/HIV
"The medical consequence of this promiscuity is that gays have a greatly increased likelihood of contracting HIV/AIDS, syphilis and other STDs"
#2.Life Span
The only epidemiological study to date on the life span of gay men concluded that gay and bisexual men lose up to 20 years of life expectancy.



http://www.cdc.gov/nchstp/dstd/Press_Releases/STDGay2000.htm<
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^read this YOU SICK FUCKS.
Its been proven one to many times...

IF GOD WANTED for us to intermingle then every guy would have a dick and a pussy.. and every girl would have a pussy and a dick...lmaoo.
and how is our population supposte to grow when noones having childern and everyone is sick with HIV and stds... mmm this is a big FAIL


its stupid to aruge about somthing Thats so wrong.. and honestly just nasty. WE NEED TO BAN THIS SHIT.. leave the american society as is. this is how MAN KIND HAS SURVIVED FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS NOT BECAUSE SOME homo is takin it in the back door.... without childeren how are we supposta keep man kind going ??? tell me this?..
exactly .

Anonymous said...

GO READ A BIBLE YOU HOMO.. not sure where any of you fags are getting your information... lmao..DIE

Anonymous said...

You're dumb

LukeNelson91 said...

Here's a blogpost on why gay marriage should be legal: astarlives.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

This is the most rude website i have ever seen. Some of you people might not take this matter seriously, but you really should. These "reasons" are so hurtful! What if someone who is gay saw this? How would you feel about yourself then? Think about what you're saying. Just think.

Anonymous said...

Lol I thought this was funny. Especially since I kept saying wrong after I every reason. Especially point one, if it weren't natural explain why bonobos dolphins penguins and a whole list of animals practice homosexuality. Also adding to point one. To be fair marriage isn't exactly natural either, I mean you don't see an animal wedding with an alter and the whole "here comes the bride" in a very lion kingy way lol. No their all polygamous the just pick a female and breed.

Anonymous said...

i love this

Anonymous said...

fucking hell

Anonymous said...

This is the Most useless and rude ive ever seen. Reading this made me really mad. Each reason i red made me angrier. I can't believe how someone can post something like this... Go to hell!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hysterical!

Anonymous said...

You truly are an idiot, did you know that?

3.Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

FALSE. Moron. I know many gay people with STRAIGHT parents. Seriously, how dumb are you?

Anonymous said...

7.Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America


Have you ever heard of the Bill of Rights? Have you ever heard the phrase "separation of church and state?"

I feel sorry for you hun.

jessi said...

It was a joke..the whole thing...they were being sarcastic...wow

fart poop said...

so, by reading a majority of the comments on this blog i've concluded that:
everyone in the world is stupid and i should just shoot myself now

I hate everyone 666 demoncore fuck god said...

its a jooooookkkkkkeeeeee. this is oh too obviously an attempt to prove anti-gay marriage ignorant christians logic incorrect.. and show how pointless they are. how stupid can people be?

You are all morons. said...

Fuck me, half the people posting on this blog are seriously retarded. If you didn't instantly get the sarcasm from this post, then you don't deserve to have a say one way or another on gay rights.

This is a basic failure to read between the lines for a great number of people on here, and it is actually scary more than anything else to think that at least some of you will be old enough to vote.

And yeah, 'fart poop' I totally agree: I should probably just shoot myself now than have to suffer idiocy like this any longer.

You are all morons. said...

And to the person that said "I feel sorry for you hun" (unfortunately one of the great many anonymous masses), I reply: No, we feel sorry for you, as you were obviously born without half your f*cking brain.

Anonymous said...

LOOOL...wow. reading people's comments make me weep for humanity. BTW, loved the way you wrote this b/c this sarcastic style really exemplified the stupidity of people who are against gays :) GOOD JOB!

Anonymous said...

when the fuck will humanity accept everyone? are you really discriminating at this day and age? you have some serious fucking issues to work out if you cant accept people for who they are you dumb shit fuckers.

Anonymous said...

At first I was like holy cow! What a rude and insensitive person, but then I realized this was satire and it was freakin hilarious!!! This is just awesome!!! Kudos!!!(:

Anonymous said...

It's a joke. Chill. That's why the author said that. To make fun of people against gay marriage

Anonymous said...

It's making fun of idiots against gay marriage.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. It's sad that this reflects peoples actual views. I love whoever wrote this. People should be smart enough to know it is a joke.

Anonymous said...

Listen, this is all a bunch of b.s! Most of this is baiased on a political view and a bibilical strictly christan point of view. People who keep saying " oh this is just a joke, be smart" well i dont think its funny at all,because honestly not only is it saying gay marriage is unatural, BUT its also saying that different races or people of anything different shouldnt be together. AND that women are property. What are we in the 1800's, women have achived a mass amount of things and statsitics show that more women are smarter than men. Im not the type of person who is all men are horrible the bible is horrible and the government sucks, IM a christan, i am related to people who are different races AND who are gay. I think love is love and it doesnt matter what age,race,gender, or anything. And the people who disagree should just mind their own buisness dont ruin it for anybody, because I hope the people who make fun of other people should feel horrible! I know that people are also intitled to their own opinion, but this opinion is violating basically everyone in todays world and possibly future. SO thats my opinion and also by the way stop bashing people on the internet!!!

Anonymous said...

This is complete bullshit. How is one person's preferences your busniess in the first place, let alone who or what gave your the idea that you matter enough to write this? This should be called 12 examples of close-minded dipshits who are presenting the past relavations of people who acted like this; and guess what? Their kind is either: A) Extinct and forgotten, or B) Illegal to practice their beliefs publicly. So to whomever thinks that this is right or funny. Your beliefes may be wrong to someone else; but you don't see them criticizing you. Along with who the fuck would think that women are property or ANYTHING to it? What in the hell made you think of this??? You are NO better then anyone else in this world!! You are actually lower then anything you could possibly think of JUST for THINKING your worth more then anyone or anything!!

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOL BIAESED

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 373   Newer› Newest»

Post a Comment

Dear spammers! Please note that a nofollow attribute is automatically added to all the comment-related links!

You can use the following HTML tags: <b>, <i>, <a>