Happy Halloween!

Roman Abramovich's lunch tab

+ extra $5,000 tip = $52,000. That's how much he paid for a 10-person lunch at a fancy restaurant in New York yesterday.

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Cute squirrel cuteing for food

clicky for more

Found here | via

Worst three word phrase ever?

Collected by Jonco from Reddit:

catastrophic bowel movement
14 f cali.
I’m Chris Hansen
is it in?
Let’s be friends
You have AIDS
No internet access
You’re the father
Is that it?
I am pregnant
Gasoline powered asshammer
your brothers’ bigger
bathroom clown surprise
out of beer
no more bacon!
Surprise barbed dildo
Suprise anal sex
Git er done
Bush was right
Four more years!
Church of Scientolog
get yourself checked
Shit. Don’t move!
Great sex, grandma
no toilet paper
you’re being audited
Grab Your Ankles
License and registration
Leave Britney alone!
Shit eating grin
President Sarah Palin

Super fans

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Halloween Twitter costume

Halloween Twitter fail whale hat is a good example of something full of epic win.

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Human-looking plant

Stunned farmer Zheng Dexun dug up a crop of fleeceflower, or Chinese knotweed, and found one shaped like a person, in Langzhong, China. The eerie-looking plant, measuring 62 centimetres tall, has clearly defined arms, legs, and head. Zheng said: "I don't know whether it is good or bad to dig out a Chinese knotweed that looks like a human. I'd better put it back in the earth!" - Link

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Long truck is looooooong!

It only looks really really long. It's actually only really long. There are two trucks there.

From Zsolti's Flickr collection of pics of awesome trucks | via

Two drunk girls vs. grandma and grandpa

Street fighting from Ukraine.

A statue of a really small girl with really big boobs shocks China

Giant breasts shock China:

Parents and teachers in China are protesting after a sculpture of a tiny girl with giant breasts was installed in a city park.

The sculpture depicts a 20cm tall girl with breasts that are five metres high and wide, reports News Express.

Ad for the ladies

It says: "Mothers' favorite present"

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Lil Wayne's head birthday cake

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger's kid turned 14 and this is the cake they made her.

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Robert Pattinson panties

Either way you look at it, this is just wrong!

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Happy Birthday Internet!

It was yesterday, actually. The Internet turned 40.

Late at night on October 29, 1969, a computer in UCLA and one in Stanford were connected through ARPANET. The first message was fairly unceremonious — it was meant to be "login", but the system crashed on the third keystroke. So the first message was, officially, "lo".

The History of the internet 1969 - 2009 gallery is obligatory

Underwater humvee ride

'Off road' can mean a lot of things.

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A true Metallica fan's t-shirt

Available here

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Serial groin-kicker at large

The streets aren't safe anymore. B.C. police seek serial groin-kicker after series of attacks:

Police in Langley are investigating after a woman kicked a man in the groin so hard he lost a testicle -- the latest in a series of similar assaults.

Mr. Clark was walking in the Brookswood area of Langley in early September when he passed his assailant on the sidewalk. "I was looking down and then I took a passing glance and saw her walk up to me," he said. That's when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen.

Constables have told him there have been three or four similar assaults on other men, Mr. Clark said.

The suspect is described as a Caucasian woman, in her late teens or early 20s. She was between five-foot-five and five-foot-seven and 130 pounds with a slim build and brown hair.

Football WTF

Somebody had to tackle him...

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Pumpkin-head Halloween dance

This guy's got all the good moves.


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Police drug-sniffing dog ODs on evidence

A drug-sniffing dog was recovering in a veterinary hospital -- with his human partner at his side -- after accidentally ingesting methamphetamine, KCAL in Los Angeles reported.

Thousand Oaks Senior Deputy Dean Worthy said that Balu, a 4-year-old German shepherd, had been commanded to search for a bag of drugs near where a suspect had dropped something else.

"He did his job," Worthy says. Balu alerted to a bag of meth.

However, Balu must also have inhaled or licked up some remnants from the bag. Hours later, he had a bad reaction.

Worthy said the dog had a seizure in the back of his patrol car that last more than two minutes.

Link (w/ video)

Divorce cakes

More - here

Puppy vs. dandelion

Cutest thing you've seen all week.


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Somali 112-year-old man marries 17-year-old girl

Hundreds of people have attended a wedding in central Somalia between a man who says he is 112 years old, and his teenage wife.

Ahmed Muhamed Dore - who already has 13 children by five wives - said he would like to have more with his new wife, Safia Abdulleh, who is 17 years old.

"Today God helped me realise my dream," Mr Dore said, after the wedding in the region of Galguduud.

The bride's family said she was "happy with her new husband".

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Autistic artist draws New York from memory

Like a Skyline Is Etched in His Head:

In a helicopter above the city on Friday, Stephen Wiltshire of London looked down at the streets and sprawl of New York. He flew for 20 minutes. Since then, working only from the memory of that sight, he has been sketching and drawing a mighty panorama of the city, rendering the city’s 305 square miles along an arc of paper that is 19 feet long. He is working publicly in a gallery at the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn.

Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck (sign language version)

For the hearing-impaired, so they could underastand more than I do what Busta is talking about.

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T-shirt of the day

It answers the question.

Available - here

Disapproving bear is disapproving

ಠ_ಠ

Here's a headline that catches the eye

First, you'll think "I would never go near that thing. It would it my penis", but actually, there's nothing to fear, they just eat each other's penises.

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Woman survives high voltage shock

Just like the kid with the taser.

A mid-50`s woman climbed up a high-voltage tower and refused to go down. In arguing and shouting, her finger touched the power line and the electric arc jumped from her hand to her face as if she was bursting into flames. She got better. The firefighters finally got the power down and rescued her off the tower after another 45 minutes of persuasion.

From a distance

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Map of the world necklace

Available - here

The history of birth control

The evolution of birth control in images | via

10 years of Internet video memes re-enactment

Judit & Judit recreate the best memes that have been going around the Internet in last 10 years for a Swedish broadband commercial.

The videos:

Afro Ninja
Ok Go – Here It Goes Again
Mentos and Diet Coke
Star Wars Kid
Chocolate Rain
Nattliv – Mensvärk (Swedish)
Angry Man Computer Smash
Ansiktsburk (Swedish)
Skogsturken (Swedish)
Leave Britney Alone
Dramatic Chipmunk
Keyboard Cat (Ending song)

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The Governor's letter

It was hardly a bill of cosmic import, but Assemblymember Tom Ammiano’s AB 1176 would have helped the Port of San Francisco with some financing issues. It’s the kind of bill that legislators offer on behalf of their cities all the time -- and generally, they are non-controversial. This one was the same -- no substantive opposition, it passed both houses easily -- and normally, the governor would sign it with little fanfare.

But no: Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed the bill -- and sent Ammiano and the legislators a remarkable veto letter. The letter says nothing about the substance of the bill; in fact, the language is really convoluted and it’s hard to figure out what the gov is really saying.

Here it is:


Epic win!

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Hey Jude flowchart

Now it's gonna be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

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Woman swallows an entire canteen of cutlery

Under the knife:

An obsessed 52-year-old woman had to go under the knife - after swallowing an entire canteen of cutlery.

Surgeons in Rotterdam in the Netherlands removed 78 different items of cutlery from Margaret Daalmans' stomach after she came to hospital complaining of tummy pains.

"She seems to have been suffering from some sort of obsession and every time she sat down for a meal she would ignore the food and eat the cutlery," said one medic.

Vulture vs. windmill

Vulture flying around a working windmill. You can imagine what happens.


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How many tats can you put on in 4 weeks?

Funny banner ad is funny.

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Dog poo vs. iRobot mishap

Couple wakes up with a Chevy Malibu in their bed in the middle of the night

Don't you just hate it when that happens? Couple alive after car pins them to bed for almost an hour:

With motor fluid spraying their faces and the weight of a car numbing their bodies, two Nevada college students struggled to stay calm after a drunk driver allegedly tore into their home, ripping them from their slumber.

Kristin Palmer and Trent Wood were asleep in their home last week when a motorist allegedly drove into their bedroom around 4 a.m., mistakenly believing it was his ex-girlfriend's home.

The University of Nevada students spent almost an hour pinned between the car and their bed while emergency workers battled furiously to free them.

Somehow, the two left the scene with relatively minor scrapes and burns -- and a new lease on life, Wood said.

Cognitive dissonance

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Scooby Doo t-shirt of the day

We've got some work to do now on Threadless

My wife thinks I am gay

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Meet the Marker Bandits

They're just like Batman and Robin, only with markers on their faces insetad of real masks. Police: Marker Bandits Arrested:

Police were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle. Inside the car, officers found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker.

Police said the caller described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment Friday night before driving off.

Take a what-a?

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From sober to passed-out drunk in seconds

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Town-sized optical illusion

Last summer, Felice Varini did this installation called “Cercle et suite d’éclats” in Vercorin, Switzerland. The scale of this point of view artwork is very impressive.

More pictures - here | via

Brain task manager

Abstruse Goose | via

Electronic guitar t-shirt

Wearable Rock!


Available here

I love this stick!

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Typecasting

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Reborn as porn

Photoshops of real movie posters as adult movie posters - b3ta challenge: reborn as porn

The B-Team

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Looping water slide in Germany

This is the bungee jumping of water slides.


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Scientology losing ground to Fictionology

LOS ANGELES—According to a report released Monday by the American Institute of Religions, the Church of Scientology, once one of the fastest-growing religious organizations in the U.S., is steadily losing members to the much newer religion Fictionology.

"Unlike Scientology, which is based on empirically verifiable scientific tenets, Fictionology's central principles are essentially fairy tales with no connection to reality," the AIR report read. "In short, Fictionology offers its followers a mythical belief system free from the cumbersome scientific method to which Scientology is hidebound."

Fictionology's central belief, that any imaginary construct can be incorporated into the church's ever-growing set of official doctrines, continues to gain popularity. Believers in Santa Claus, his elves, or the Tooth Fairy are permitted—even encouraged—to view them as deities. Even corporate mascots like the Kool-Aid Man are valid objects of Fictionological worship.

"My personal savior is Batman," said Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Greg Jurgenson. "My wife chooses to follow the teachings of the Gilmore Girls. Of course, we are still beginners. Some advanced-level Fictionologists have total knowledge of every lifetime they have ever lived for the last 80 trillion years."

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Virgin Mary on a bird poop

Here's your freakin' miracle of the day! The image of Virgin Mary appeared on a bird dropping on a pick-up truck.


More about it - here | via

Cookin' with Coolio

Yes, Coolio the rapper. Apparently he's a good cook. He hosted an online cooking show called Cookin' with Coolio and it was such a big hit he released this book: Cookin' with Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price:

Coolio started making thirty-minute meals when he was ten years old and has since developed a whole new cuisine: Ghetto Gourmet. His recipes are built around solid comfort foods with a healthy twist that don't break the bank. Start your Ghetto Gourmet adventure with some "Soul Rolls," follow-up with "Finger-Lickin', Rib-Stickin', Fall-Off-the-Bone-and-into-Your-Mouth Chicken," and fi nish off with "Banana Ba-ba-ba-bread" sweetened with golden honey. Chapters such as "How to Become a Kitchen Pimp," "Chillin' and Grillin'," and "Pasta Like a Rasta" will guide you through creating 5 star meals at a 1 star price. You can't fi nd fusions like Blasian (black Asian) or Ghettalian (ghetto Italian) in restaurants, but you can have them cooking away in your kitchen faster and easier than ordering takeout. As Coolio says, "All you need is a little bit of food, and a little bit of know-how."

Woodpecker fail

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Reptile smuggler caught at the airport

He was smuggling snakes on a plane. Spider alerts customs officials to smuggler who had 24 illegal pythons and geckos taped to his body:

A smuggler has been caught with 14 snakes and ten lizards taped to his body after customs officials spotted a tarantula scurrying around in one of his bags.

The non-venomous royal pythons were rolled up in socks and taped to his torso. The albino leopard geckos were in little boxes strapped to his legs.

Not any kind of solicitors

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When you gota go...

Wee've all been in this situation. But not all of us have handeled it this well.


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Picture of the day: grieving chimpanzees

This extraordinary photo taken by Monica Szczupider at the Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Centre in eastern Cameroon shows a family of grief-stricken chimpanzees mourning the death of a fellow ape named Dorothy.

Is this haunting picture proof that chimps really DO grieve?

Woman acts like a dog to scare a suspicious man off

Police say Ga. woman scared off burglar by scratching door and acting like a large dog:

Police are investigating after an Athens woman scared off a would-be burglar by acting like a dog. The Athens Banner-Herald reported Monday that the woman scared off the suspect around 11 p.m. Saturday. According to police, the woman got on the floor and began scratching at the door and acting like a large dog when the suspicious man tried turning the woman's door knob.

Goatse, the choice of a new generation

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Teenager falls through the roof 4 times

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Movies by Wes Andreson

If you haven't seen any of these, maybe you should.


And the latest, Fantastic Mr. Fox.

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Awesome t-shirt design: The Horde

"This design is an homage to a bunch of different zombie related influences: Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of The Dead, The Evil Dead, Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil and MJ's Thriller to name a few. I imagine this guy is probably making a last stand as a distraction whilst his friends get to the chopper."

Available here

Sad rat stuck in the sidewalk photoshops

Remember the sad picture of a rat stuck in a sidewalk? Well, the Internet has updated itself since then. Here are some more photoshops of this image.

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Smile!

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When life gives you lemons

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Pick-up lines

More pick-up lines by famous people in history.

Flamable tap water

Where is your God now?


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Neighbor wants to ban guns sign

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That sounds yummy...

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Tipping a fuel truck

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Warning

Wallpaper (1650x1050)

Nicolas Sarkozy

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Suspicious people

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Rubik's cube Last Supper

Can you make a big Last Supper out of rubik's cube's? Why yes you can.


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World flags colors chart

Found here | via

A dancing bear

Check it out

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Monster shark at large

In Australia. So huge, he did this to another smaller monster shark:


We're gonna need bigger guns! Warning over 'monster' 20ft great white shark which bit another great white in half:

A 'monster' great white shark measuring up to 20 ft long is on the prowl off a popular Queensland beach, according to officials.

Swimmers were warned to stay out of the water off Stradbroke Island after the shark mauled another smaller great white which had been hooked on a baited drum line. The 10-foot great white was almost bitten in half.

The fictional shark at the centre of the Steven Spielberg blockbuster Jaws was estimated to be just five feet longer.

Owned by friends

That's what you get!
On Lamebook | via

Halloween fleshlight

Have a Happier Halloween with the Fleshlight Succu Dry

Extreme ping pong

Some might say they're doing it wrong, but they're not.


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Internet rules and laws

Internet rules and laws: the top 10, from Godwin to Poe:

Any internet user will know that the web, like the outside world (or “meatspace”), follows certain rules.

We take a look at 10, with the most well-known and widely used towards the top and some of the lesser lights lower down. If you know any more, let us know below.

Here are the rules in short:

1. As an internet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches certainty.
2. Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing.
3. If it exists, there is porn of it.
4. "Any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself" or "the likelihood of an error in a post is directly proportional to the embarrassment it will cause the poster.
5. In any discussion involving science or medicine, citing Whale.to as a credible source loses the argument immediately, and gets you laughed out of the room.
6. If you have to insist that you’ve won an internet argument, you’ve probably lost badly.
7. A person’s mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.
8. Anyone who posts an argument on the internet which is largely quotations can be very safely ignored, and is deemed to have lost the argument before it has begun.
9. Whoever resorts to the argument that ‘whoever resorts to the argument that… …has automatically lost the debate’ has automatically lost the debate.
10. The more exclamation points used in an email (or other posting), the more likely it is a complete lie. This is also true for excessive capital letters.
    

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Massive store robbery

60 teenagers rob store... at once!


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5-year-old bodybuilder

The five-year-old with a six pack: Child bodybuilder in record books after TV stunt:

Romanian Giuliano Stroe, five, has been training since the age of two in Italy - where he lives with his family - and now the hard work has finally paid off.

He was entered into the record books earlier this year after performing some impressive 'hand-walking' skills to a panel of judges and an astonished audience on an Italian TV show.

Father Iulian Stroe, 33, said: 'He has been going to the gym with me ever since he was born. I always took him with me when I went training.' He added there is no danger of the youngster harming himself, saying: 'I have been training hard all my life myself.'

Stigmatizing name

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Y'all vs. You all

A map that shows the regional differences between people who say “ya'll” and people who say “you” — along with those who say “you all” and “you guys”.


More about this - here | via

Domestic dispute

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Not your regular Mayor

Stu Rasmussen (born 1948) is an American politician from the state of Oregon. He was reported to be the nation's first openly transgender mayor when he was elected as the mayor of Silverton, Oregon in November 2008. He had previously been elected twice in the 1990s as mayor of this Willamette Valley community, before coming out as transgender. He was also three times a member of the city council

Tiny tiny train

World's smallest working model train set unveiled:

The world's smallest working model train set has been unveiled – measuring just 1/8th of an inch by 1/4 of an inch.

At 1-35200 scale to the real thing, the five-carriage train travels around an oval route including a ride through a tunnel.

Rickrolled?

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Could you handle this?

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Mr. E.T.

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Dog escapes from the vet

Meet the Steve McQueen of dogs: Door-opening pooch found near Smithtown dog run:

Pharaoh, a 9-year-old German shepherd who was recovering from surgery to remove a testicular tumor at the Hauppauge Animal Hospital, somehow got out of his cage around 2:30 a.m. Monday morning and was seen on surveillance video wandering around the clinic, said veterinarian Dr. Robert Rowman.

The video shows Pharaoh standing on his hind legs, putting his paws on a doorknob, opening the door and scampering outside, Rowman said.

The dog made it through an exterior gate as well - even eluding police who responded to a silent security alarm triggered by the pooch's wanderings. The police did not see the dog escaping.

Installing windows

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Chihuahua smuggler caught at the airport

X marks the Spot:

Airport staff did a routine X-ray of a piece of hand luggage yesterday - and saw this live Chihuahua.

Stunned customs officials initially assumed the tiny mutt was a toy.

But when they unzipped the hold-all which had flown from Bulgaria to Madrid and then to Dublin they found the pooch inside a cage.

An older lady smiling

Click on the picture and get totally freaked out.

Longcat badges

Longcat is looooooooong. So long they couldn't fit him on one badge.


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Update: Available here

If cats could talk

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Santa's sleigh

Santa is a hunter.

Remi Gallard as a bat

Remi Gallard never ceases to amaze. This time he's dressed as a bat and scaring the bejeezus out of people.


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TV news caption fails

More oops moments in TV news captions

Amazing hole-in-one shot

Vijay Singh skips ball across the water for a hole in one on 16 at the masters 2009. This is what they invented golf for.


Here's another awesome hole-in-one.

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Fatness of ye arse

Sucked to be a doctor in the Middle Ages.


SMBC

How to get your yard cleaned on Craigslist

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A taser that works

>
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Don't fall for these schemes

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Picture of a spinning propeller made with an iPhone

Looks just like a piece of art.

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About FAPs

A chain of FAPs must be performed flawlessly if mating is to occur.

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The new A-Team

Bradley Cooper, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, Sharlto Copley and Liam Neeson:


First Official Look: The A-Team | via

A rat stuck in the sidewalk

Possibly The Saddest Thing Ever: Rat Stuck In Sidewalk:

"I was walking along and texting. Not really paying that much attention. Then something caught my eye. I thought I was about to step in dog shit, but quickly realized it was a rat stuck in the sidewalk. A big rat. It had tried to squeeze through a crack in the sidewalk and failed."

Some photoshops in the link.

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I see a flaw in your argument

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They canceled the rabbit throwing contest

New Zealand town cancels rabbit-throwing contest:

A rural town in New Zealand has been forced to cancel its annual rabbit-throwing competition after complaints from animal rights groups. In the contest, which is held each year to coincide with the start of the pig hunt, children see how far they can throw a dead rabbit.

But the RSPCA said the rabbit-throw sent a message to children that dead animals were fun and could legitimately be used as a form of entertainment.

Charles Cadwallader, animal cruelty inspector, said the rabbit-throw was also cruel. "Do you throw your dead grandmother around for a joke at her funeral?" he said.

DJs at work

Two workers DJing back to back, apparently on a lot of cocaine.


Thanks Andreea | via

Looking for an amputee

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Get a free one

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A pointless exercise in futility

A determined sheepdog herding cows.


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Ted Williams Halloween costume

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Beagle puppy vs. Rottweiler

Cuteness warning!


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Three Wildlife-Photo-of-the-Year-2009-Wolf Moon

A picture of a hunting wolf has won the prestigious Veolia Environment Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2009 award.

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Caption this

Real-life Harry Potter

Real-life Harry Potter reveals why sharing the wizard's name has made his life a misery:

Mr Potter has endured taunts from the public, police, phone companies and even a football referee - all because he shares a name with arguably the world's best known wizard.

Mr Potter, who was born in 1989, had eight peaceful years of being a schoolboy with a fairly ordinary name before JK Rowling released a book entitled Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, and everything changed.

Then Daniel Radcliffe, who at 20 is the same age as Mr Potter, brought the boy wizard to life and suddenly introducing himself as 'Harry Potter' became something of a minefield.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1221925/The-real-life-Harry-Potter-reveals-sharing-wizards-life-misery.html#ixzz0UjeDLUQ8

Sinus bullet removal surgery

If you haven't seen a bullet get operated out of a person's sinus cavity, here it is:


Wait, what?

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It's happening

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Modern man a wimp says anthropologist

According to this new book called Manthropology, written by Peter McAllister, man has never been this much of a wussy like he is now, in the present day.

Many prehistoric Australian aboriginals could have outrun world 100 and 200 meters record holder Usain Bolt in modern conditions.

Some Tutsi men in Rwanda exceeded the current world high jump record of 2.45 meters during initiation ceremonies in which they had to jump at least their own height to progress to manhood.

Any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestle.

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