Seeking brain surgeon on Craigslist

ASAP.

Need a Brain Surgery Intern ASAP! I have just been diagnosed with a brain tumor and the doctor says that I only have 3 months to live unless I have brain surgery. This is an unpaid operation, but you will receive credit and snacks while you are operating. This is a good way to build up your resume by networking with others who need free surgery. If you do a good job, and I live, this may lead to future PAID surgeries!
If you have your own surgery tools and anesthesia, that is a plus and you move to the front of the line.
Please respond with a link to all of the operations that you have performed, transcripts from the universities that you attended, and a copy of your MCAT scores.
Please only respond if you are SERIOUS. You must be a team player and have your own car.

Here's the link.