Ian Spector - The Truth About Chuck Norris (400 Facts About The World's Greatest Human)
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Ian Spector, webmaster of the site which started the Chuck Norris meme and survivor of a real-life encounter with Chuck himself, has selected the 400 most kick-ass facts from his library of thousands, as well as illustrations as awesome as the man himself. This death-defying volume includes such awe-inspiring observations as:
• A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.View some of the book's pages
• Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
• When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
• Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur.
• Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands.
• Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym.
Buy it here
Ian Spector, webmaster of the site which started the Chuck Norris meme and survivor of a real-life encounter with Chuck himself, has selected the 400 most kick-ass facts from his library of thousands, as well as illustrations as awesome as the man himself. This death-defying volume includes such awe-inspiring observations as:
• A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
• When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
• Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur.
• Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands.
• Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym.
Buy the book here
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19 comentarii:
Something Awful was the website responsible for the Chuck Norris meme, not this guy. And Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny anymore anyway, so its dually pathetic that this guy is trying to capitalize on it.
I agree. This Chuck Norris thing is getting kinda old. But there are still people who haven't heard about and that's because they haven't been on the internet much. And I guess the book is for those people.
So it's only singularly pathetic, not dually...:)
Bugger that, it is still funny, and Chuck is the modern day superman. if only in the fact that we need nothing off him, expect nothing off him, just hope that if the shlit hits the fan, him,Johnny Rambo,and Roadhouse Swayze (throat rip, not the later Pussly version), will come and kill the mujehadeen then we'll be fine
thats great man!!!
Maybe we could do Samuel L. Jackson?
i've read it all a million times... and its still hilarious. Pictures are cool too
Fact:
Rambo > Chuck Norris
Norris is some pussy-ass born again Christian or some shit. He was never badass.
"Anonymous said...
Fact:
Rambo > Chuck Norris"
I will give you about 4 hours until chuck finds your ass maybe 5 since you stayed anonymous,
may God and Chuck have mercy on your soul
Chuck Norris uses live cobras for condoms.
Not funny?? these are hilarious. If you want to talk about something getting old its all the blogs and myspace websites. Nobody cares what you think!
Guido Hatzis is the ultimate kickboxing legend. The others are pretenders. His spinning heel kicks to the back of your necks would sort you out mate.
very funny, thanx...
Chuck ain't da' man; Ian Spector is!
I have some jokes that u could use, if u do send me a email at master_cheef95@yahoo.com
Chuck Norris CAN put 50s into a vending machine.
Chuck Norris thinks frosted flakes are "Grrrross".
Chuck Norris belives the wolf cried boy.
When most bank robbers rob banks they put C4 on the people in the bank. When chuck norris robs a bank he puts a pubic hair from his beard on them.
The sugar (frost) on frosted flakes are really Chuck Norris's dandrif.
Websters dictionary is being sued for 10 billion dollars because they belive Chuck Norris isnt a word. So now chuck Norris IS a dictionary and has 10 billion pages.
Chuck Norris has to swim across the Atlantic because Plane are to scared to carry him.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris once chewed the vagina off of his high school girlfriend because when Chuck Norris eats a bitch out, Chuck Norris EATS A BITCH OUT.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris does not shit. He simply launches mini anti-aircraft missiles from his anus.
Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing people with knives was too easy.
Chuck Norris prefers to have sex in his pool;
the women don't catch fire as readily that way.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Bruce lee killed Chuck, I saw it in a movie
Chuck norris is such a girl that he towes a trailer full of dresses with him when he drives around cause he is a stupid girl who wants to sue anyone who makes a chuck norris joke
Chuck Norris is a pussy. No REAL man needs to support the NRA - what the hell does he need a gun for? And REAL men support everyone's rights, not just the Christian Right.