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Monday, June 15, 2009

Missing baby found in Sandwich

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13 comentarii:

Anonymous said...

your blog is AWESOME.

keep it rockin'!

Anonymous said...

Ok,really messed up ?
Finding out your cousin is a serious nut job - on Stumble !
Thanks Johnny - and I am SO telling grandma !

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, babies. They're great with some ketchup and a little bit of relish. It's a good idea to serve them with bread, the meat is soft but bleeds everywhere...

Anonymous said...

its a city! still genious

Psycho Bill said...

Relish is a bit overpowering, but depending where she's from, it might be a good idea to mask a little of the flavor. Ketchup can be good if you've made sausage out of the innards, but a good steak sauce is the best way to accompany a rare cut of baby flesh. They're too small for decent thick steak-like cuts, but a properly spit-roasted infant makes a great appetizer for a group of people. If you cube the meat and serve it on toothpicks, provide a selection of sauces for your guests to experiment with.

Newborns make a great sandwich. Toddlers are a pain, the bones have to be removed, but a newborn baby's bones haven't solidified yet. The legs and arms can be cut into medallions and placed in a sandwich, or served with cheese and crackers for a more formal affair. The flavor of the meat depends on the behavior of the mother during pregnancy, the things that make a baby unhealthy at birth also damage the flavor of it's flesh. The child of a drug addicted mother should never be consumed fresh, the child should be given time with healthy food so it has time to flush it's system of the contaminants it was born with. It still will not be the tastiest, but if you are in an area where obtaining live or at least fresh meat is difficult, it might be better than nothing.

For a sandwich, the best way to prepare a toddler is to strip the meat off the bones, grill it to taste over mesquite wood, and serve with the toppings of your choice. I prefer mayonnaise and roasted garlic, although sometimes grilled onions and cheese go great with a thinly sliced meat.

Relish should only be used if you have made some sort of sausage or hot dog out of the innards and need to cover up a little of the flavor. This is encouraged, as no part of the child should be wasted if it can be avoided.

For babies whose bones have hardened, the bines can be used in a soup or stew, then given to the dogs to enjoy and dispose of. If the baby is fresh enough, then many of the bones can simply be consumed with the rest of it, the marrow is very tasty at that age.

You people went and made me hungry. Can't get any kids around here very often, but the economy has other meat plentiful, if you know where to look. Got some in the freezer, but fresh is so much better. Maybe a barbecue with friends this weekend would be fun. Gives me a few days to prepare it if I can find one tonight. Friday night slaughter party, various parts can be marinated and prepared overnight, then the next day grill and spit roast the rest.

Don't be greedy, the skull makes a great prize for a fun contest, or maybe a birthday or anniversary gift, whatever the reason you might be having your get-together.

Anonymous said...

I give the chap above me a standing ovation.

Standing from a very safe distance.

Behind several feet of concrete.

mook said...

This is clearly shopped. I can tell by the shadows and pixels. Also, I have seen quite a few shops in my time.

Anonymous said...

definitely shooped.

Anonymous said...


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Anonymous said...

Did anyone realize that it was a town called Sandwich?

Anonymous said...

Gasp! Anon's right! It was the *town*

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, a California Cheeseburger.

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