10 ways to tell if your Amish kid is headed for trouble

Monday, July 28, 2008

  • Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.
  • In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
  • Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup.
  • When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh!”
  • His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.”
  • Defiantly says, “If I had a radio, I’d listen to rap.”
  • You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
  • Uses slang expression: “Talk to the hand, ’cause the beard ain’t listening.”
  • Was recently pulled over for “driving under the influence of cottage cheese.”
  • He’s wearing his big black hat backwards.
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