Quick witty quotes

Here's a series of quotes from different countries:


Estonia

“He was drunk. There were three people in the car with him giving him instructions.”

Tartu police talk about the 20-year-old blind man that was caught, not once, but twice for drink driving in southern Estonia.


Italy

“Lots of people are saying, ‘I really need to lose some weight but it’s really tough.’ So I thought, why don’t we go on a group diet?”

The major of the town of Varallo in northwestern Italy talks about his idea for a weight loss campaign which would see men receiving 50 euros ($70) for losing 4 kg (9 pounds) in a month, and women getting the same amount for shedding 3 kg (7 pounds).


USA

“When I reached down to pick up the head, it raised around and did a backflip almost, and bit my finger.”

A Washington man tells how a rattlesnake he thought he killed with his son on their farm, bit him on the finger after it’s head was decapitated. He was taken to hospital when he realised that venom had entered his system.


Germany

“He was German, but he gave the dog the order to attack in French.”

Police spokesmen briefs reporters on a drunk, wheelchair bound man who set his dog to attack shoppers who had apparently verbally abused him, injuring 6.


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