Capitalism in cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

ISLAMIC CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You strap dynamite to them hoping they will save you 2 suicide bomber resources. They blow up accidentally. You have no cows.

FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

SPANISH / ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

HEBREW CAPITALISM: You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

HINDU CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You worship them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the journalist who reported the numbers.

WELSH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. The one on the left is rather cute.

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