Illustrated Stories From The Bible

Illustrated Stories From The Bible, by Paul Farell, the kind of book every high school and college should have it in their library, puts into pictures some of the stories they somehow neglect to teach you in Sunday school.

Take a peek inside [via]

Artificially flavored Hannah Montana candy

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Election poll stats

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The extra 20 years

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Skater with his pants on fire

Not the smartest skateboarding stunt pulled by not the smartest kids.

Watch video


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Funny Google Maps caption

Alicante Harbor, Spain.

Link [via]

IPod fair warning

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Tropical storm wakeboarding

Thanks to flooding caused by Tropical Storm Fay, Laine Kelly, 18, is able to skim along a flooded boulevard in Jensen Beach, Florida. [via]

Some people just know how yo bring out the best thing in Tropical Storm Fay.

Watch a video


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It's cold

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Signs of terrorism

click to enlarge

So everytime you see anyone taking pictures, using a computer, driving a van, talking on a cell phone or travels a lot, you'd better report them cause they're god damn terrorists.

Here's how it should really be like.

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Saudi girls gettin' naughty for the camera

More naughty Saudi girls

Michael Phelps - Sports Illustrated cover

The now famous Sports Illustrated magazine cover featuring swimmer Michael Phelps and his 8 gold Olympic medals, which is now even available as a poster. (18x24")

The athlete has won the most gold medals of any Olympian ever – famously beating out swimmer Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals at the 1972 Olympics in Munich.

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Snake charming festival in India

In Bishnupure, India, every year in December a festival is being held, where people charm and play with their poisonous snakes.

Read full entry

The charmers start playing an instrument and the serpents simply get hypnotised and start swaying out of their baskets. They never strike and the tamers often go as far as kissing the creatures on their heads. They start handling the snakes, playing with them and dare the audience to touch them. Of course nobody ever does. Would you?

The King Cobra, found in India is the largest venomous snake in the world. In a single bite it can inject enough venom to kill an elephant...

Partying

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WTF?

Arnold Sailormoonegger: "Because Washington Is Hollywood For Ugly People! Kahlifornia!"


Keep hitting enter. You will get freaked out eventually...

The Avenging Narwahl

The narwhal is an arctic-dwelling whale that's been called 'the unicorn of the sea' due to its long pointed tusk. While there's much debate about the true purpose of this appendage, the truth is finally revealed!

Available here

That's it. I'm going to Hell!

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Submission Hot Sauce

100% Pure Pain Formula - Habanero Peppers, Water, African Oleoresin, Scotch Bonnet Peppers, Salt, Onion, Vegetable Oil, Acetic Acid, Garlic And Xanthan Gum. 5oz.

Must be really hot...

Available here

Horny Pinscher

This little dog keeps obsessively humping a piece of cloth on his owner's bed. I don't exactly know how this works and why it's doing that, considering the fact that it is a she.

Watch video


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Road surprises

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Motivational poster: Opportunity

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O RRY?

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Cheap magazine on Amazon

Bonus cat!

Link

Creative tombstone

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Energy all day

It's not one of those horror movie posters with an evil kid, it's and ad for "Sol Protonik" cocoa energy drink.

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Fun with Tech Support

Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

Read more

—-

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one.

—-

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn’t so! sound good; I’ll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet.
It’s still on my desk. Sorry.

—-

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen

Customer: Your left or my left?

—-

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello. I can’t print.

Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and …

Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates, damn it!

—-

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.

—-

Customer: I have problems printing in red.

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah, thank you.

—-

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boy friend bought for me in the supermarket.

—-

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah, that one does
work.

—-

Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in “apple”, a capital letter “V” as in “Victor”, the number “7″.

Customer: Is that “7″ in capital letters?

—-

Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That’s not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry. Internet Explorer.

—-

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

—-

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

—-

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine .”

—-

And last but not least:

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”

Customer: I don’t have a “P”.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: “P”, on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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Cows chasing a goat

What do cows do when they see a goat for the first time in their lives? They chase it away and they try to kill it. Like an angry mob.

Watch video


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Only 38 mins from Petting to Fucking

According to Google Maps:


Link [via]

Dog training gone wrong

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The chemical elements explained socially

If you weren't any good at chemistry in school, or if you skipped nearly every chemistry class in your senior year, like I did, watch this and you'll get the idea.

Watch video


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Walking the ferret

More

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Hello Kitty bruise

What do you do when you get a bruise on your arm? You get creative. You pick up a pen and connect the dots.

View pictures



It's an instant hit!

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Dickhead

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Hancocks

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The Rock

R.I.P. Dolores Aguilar

Apparently, Dolores left behind many "loved ones". Here's the extremely sincere obituary made by her numerous family. It was published in the Vallejo Times Herald.


For those of you already speculating it's a fake, you're wrong.

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Chimp has fun with frog

Besides throwing their own poop, monkeys are known to force smaller animals to perform oral sex with them.

Watch video


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Got a light?

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Microsoft Word correction fail

It's probably the version created by Snoop D-O-Double-Gizzle

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Very educational Japanese anti-smoking poster

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Mouse phobia

Cute little hamsters determine this woman to suddenly go from smiling to screaming with horror.

Watch video


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Microsoft Word Auto Correct

It can get really helpful sometimes...


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I believe you have my stapler

Milton turns out to be the most bad ass office worker ever. Wanted style.


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Homosexuality: Legitimate, Alternate Death-Style

Buy the book

Burglar nominated for a Darwin Award

While attempting to rob a house this burglar tried smashing the window and somehow managed to get his foot stuck in it. He was left hanging there upside down until police and paramedics arrived and helped him down.

Read article on The Daily Mail

How to buckle your shoe

In 2 easy steps.

View picture

click to view uncensored

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The power of the human penis

These men from Taiwan train hard every day. They train to do amazing stuff with their penises. Stuff like pulling a 10-ton truck.

Watch video


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Parts of the body in music

What do we sing about, when we sing about the body? The chart below, based on a sample of thousands songs, tells the story. The size of a circle corresponds to how often that part is mentioned in each genre. Click on a genre name to see a close-up that shows exactly what words were used.

Link [via]

Michael Phelps and the photographers

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Young George W. on the field

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Godfather plush horse head pillow

Get it here

Michael Phelps game card

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Tasty yogurt

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Unfortunate nest place

This bird built it's nest on a fence pipe. And it slipped in, going all the way to the bottom, along with it's little chicks. The pictures are very sad.

View pictures






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Violent hidden camera victim

Here's a Mercedes owner who seriously lacks any sense of humor.

Watch video


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Six pack

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Crackhead violence

One bad ass nigguh who thinks he's on GTA.

Watch video


Thanks Wrk

C'mon move yo body

A really funny duo auditioning for the British TV show, X-Factor. The singer brought his friend on the audition to do some backing vocals while he sings Peter Andre's Mysterious Girl.

Watch video


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John McCain about war

I don't know what the story about this video is but here's senator John McCain talking about how necessary the war in Iraq really is and how America fights for love, freedom and justice. The speech is mixed with music by English DJ and musician Overseer in a very touching manner.

Watch video


Thanks Wrk

Unfortunate word placement

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When you see it, you'll shit bricks

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The Rules

These are made by men, for women. They should all read them and get them through their little heads.

Note that they are all numbered '1' for a reason.

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Read full entry

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is find. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.

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Ice Scream

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Grey Hound adopts owl

After being taken away by its mother, young Shrek was adopted by a six-month-old dog named Torque. They have become best of friends.

Read the story on Daily Mail.

Cat vs. Mouse

More pictures

Chuck Norris interviewed

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Feminist Flip Off

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Decisions, decisions...

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Michael Phelps returns home

ORLANDO—Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing in six shows a day for marine park crowds every day of the week.

Read the article

AT-AT evolution

Get it on a tee. [via]

Obama Nikes

A pair of Nike Air Force One sneakers custom-made by an artist called Van. They feature the portrait of Barack Obama and his sayings "Change" and "Yes We Can". Van customizes a lot of Nikes.

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No More Rain-Soaked Cigarettes!

From Modern Mechanics, issue - Aug, 1931

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Tropical storm kite surfing

This guy gets hospitalized after not listening to emergency officials and trying out some super kite surfing stunts during Tropical Storm Fay in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Watch video


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Fresh herpes

It's pretty cheap...

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Britney Spears live

A compilation of Britney moments featuring the feed from her microphone while she is lip synching her songs live on stage.

Watch video


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Where my hose at?

Get it on a tee.

The Cyclops advantage

This is why I always wanted to be a cyclops.

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The wonders of Ork technology

Those Orks have a device for everything


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The origins of Emo

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Butt Hole Road

Imagine living there. Conisbrough, South Yorkshire, England.

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Young artist

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Husband creche

This is really good for business. Especially if placed in vicinity of a shopping mall. Seen at a bar in Scotland.

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Missile dropped on car

The war in South Ossetia makes a lot of victims. Here are some pictures of a Russian missile that's been dropped on a Georgian military Lada Niva.

More



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At the science fair

More Inappropriate Science Fair Projects

Mickey Rourke in Russia

More photoshops with Hollywood stars in classic Russian Films.

Nigerian fraud email

This Nigerian fraud email was received by somebody in Russia recently:

I pray that this email reaches you in the best of health. This letter may come to you as asurprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but it’s real and you will realise this if you pay some attention to it. I want to notify you about it at least for the sake of your integrity.

My name is Major Greg Boner Moyo, a direct and only remaining member of the wealthy Moyo family. I am an astronaut with the South African Air Force and on loan to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).

In 2003 I left earth aboard the Mars Rover, Spirit. Seven months later I arrived on Mars. Prior to...

Read more

departing earth, I deposited the amount of US$ 11,600,000 (Eleven million, six hundred thousand United States dollars) in four safety galvanized boxes in a European financial institution which will be disclosed to you upon your acceptance of my proposal.

Last year, during the course of my research on Mars, I was ambushed by a group of analdwelling rebel Martians who inflicted great torturous pain upon my body with anal probes.

After a few weeks of enduring the physical pain, they released me. As a direct result of this cruelty, I am now very ill with a ruptured uterus that has defiled all forms of medical treatment and which has been deemed to be inoperable by my Martian surgeons. I am writing this mail to you on a laptop from my hospital bed in the Martian capitol of Zhwrong.

I now have but a few weeks to live and I am far too ill to endure the long and arduous journey back to my South Africa home. Therefore I have decided to donate the bulk of my fortune to a church or charitable organisation that will utilize this money in the manner which I shall impart to you later. In return for your assistance, I shall authorise you to keep 30% of this fund for your trouble and aggravation plus an additional 10% to cover your expenses.

You should contact my attorney in Johannesburg immediately with your address andtelephone number and he will give you his full contact information and guidance so that we can make arrangements as soon as possible.

Contact Barrister Richard Hardon Baloye
Barristers & Solicitors,
Johannesburg, South Africa
Email:rev.georgeharris2@live.com

Sincerely yours,
Major Greg Boner Moyo,
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
Elysium Veterinary Infirmary
Zhwrong, Mars
Nano nano

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Upright at his own wake

His name is Angel Pantoja Medina, from Purto Rico and his last wish was to be standing upright at his own wake. And after he died in mysterious circumstances, he was put to stand like that in his mother's house wearing his Yankees cap and Dolce glasses.

More



via [Thanks Wrk]

Why so serious?

Heath Ledger and his wife Michelle Williams waveing at the paparazzi.

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Michael Phelps - more bad ass than Chuck Norris?

Finally someone manages to come close to Chuck Norris' level of awesomeness. Here are some Michael Phelps facts:

• Michael Phelps isn't like a fish, a fish is like Michael Phelps
  

• Michael Phelps doesn't get wet. Water gets Michael Phelps
  

• When you say "no one's perfect", Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult
  

• Michael Phelps counted to infinity twice while doing the breast stroke
  

• When Michael Phelps looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Michael Phelps
  

• As a child, Michael Phelps didn't wear water wings, water wings wore Michael Phelps
  

• Rappers no longer wear bling, they wear Michael Phelps
  

• Bigfoot takes pictures of Michael Phelps
  

• If by some incredible space-time paradox, Michael Phelps would ever swim against himself, he'd win

• Michael Phelps can eat out a mermaid
  

37 Reasons Michael Phelps is Better than Chuck Norris

Flying tanks are better than flying sharks

Motivational poster wars



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Unicorns and Superman

More "guidos" on A Collection of 10 Pictures with Guys I’d Like to Beat Up.

103-Year-old woman on Facebook

A very active user of the famous social networking site, with over 9000 fans, Ivy Bean is Facebook's oldest user.

Link [via]

Tornado encounter

Carrying a Polish folk group, this bus has an encounter with a huge tornado. Just like in the movie Twister. It's all being filmed with a camera from inside the bus. The video is slightly disturbing.

Watch video (slightly disturbing)


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Steve Irwin birthday cake

Little Bingi Irwin turns 10. What better cake than one with your dead father on it could you get her.

More uninspired cakes.

Elvis and Priscilla Barbie Dolls

Available on Amazon.

African children drinking water

Two Sudanese boys drink with specially fitted plastic tubes provided by the Carter Center to guard against the water-borne larvae which are responsible for guinea worm disease.

Funny how one of them is wearing chains and the other one an iPod (or something) and they can't get a decent bottle of water.

Found here.

Dream guy

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Andre Agassi mullet

More celebrities with mullets.

Koala attacked by crow

More pictures - here

Michael Phelps

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Picture of the day

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One happy family

The Torrances

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Zorro vs. Superman t-shirt

Bad decision Mr. Z [via]

Tupac tattoo rip-off

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The effects of lip plates

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Floating Stadium

The Marina Bay Floating Stadium was built in Singapore and it is actually floating. It can bear the weight of 9′000 people and 3 military tanks.

Read more about Singapore's floating football pitch. [via]

Beijing gymnastics love

Hooray for the Russian team!

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The human Beijing Olympic Pictograms

The Beijing Olympic sports pictograms recreated with people.

View pictures

Dogs with gas masks

Read more about gas masks created for dogs

The size of planets

An animated gif that compares the size of different planets, in our solar system and not only. Some planets will be reduced to the size of 1 pixel and even smaller, only to show how big others are.

View picture


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Massive North Korean Gathering

Kim Il-sung Square, Pyongyang, North Korea

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These images found on Flickr (via) were taken at Kim Il-sung Square, Pyongyang, North Korea. If anybody knows what these people are celebrating, please feel free to leave a comment.

Peter Griffin vs. Chicken action figures

Available on Amazon.

Job interview questions

Here are a few questions people claim to have been asked at job interviews with Google and Microsoft.

Google:

• How many golf balls can fit in a school bus?
• You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?
• How many piano tuners are there in the entire world?
• In a country in which people only want boys, every family continues to have children until they have a boy. If they have a girl, they have another child. If they have a boy, they stop. What is the proportion of boys to girls in the country?
• Describe a chicken using a programming language.

Microsoft:

• You have a bucket of jelly beans. Some are red, some are blue, and some green. With your eyes closed, pick out 2 of a like color. How many do you have to grab to be sure you have 2 of the same?
• Pairs of primes separated by a single number are called prime pairs. Examples are 17 and 19. Prove that the number between a prime pair is always divisible by 6 (assuming both numbers in the pair are greater than 6). Now prove that there are no ‘prime triples.’
• Imagine an analog clock set to 12 o’clock. Note that the hour and minute hands overlap. How many times each day do both the hour and minute hands overlap? How would you determine the exact times of the day that this occurs?
• How much does a 747 weigh?
• Imagine a disk spinning like a record player turn table. Half of the disk is black and the other is white. Assume you have an unlimited number of color sensors. How many sensors would you have to place around the disk to determine the direction the disk is spinning? Where would they be placed?

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Pussy riding cock

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We love tourists

But some of them are just mean...

Some more engrish translation fail.

The Flatmobile

At a height of only 19 in (48 cm), the Flatmobile is recognized by the Guiness Book of Records as being the lowest street car in the world.

More about the Flatmobile.

Arrested

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Off the Hook - Japanese Dictionary of African-American Slang

Off the Hook - Dictionary of African-American Slang is the kind of book that helps the Japanese
mingle with the playas and the pimps.

View more





Available on Amazon

Pelican swallows a pigeon whole

A pigeon pisses off a pelican and it gets swallowed alive. Right under the eyes of people standing and watching, at St. James Park, London. The poor pigeon keeps struggling until it gets all the way down in it's predator's stomach. And note that a pelican's meal consists almost 100% of fish. The video looks pretty horrifying and unbelievable. But I guess it's all part of the circle of life...

Watch video


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Google Maps - Map of the World, cca. 5,500 BC

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Russian nesting dolls with bytes

Learn the computer memory and storage units of measurement with Russian Matryoshka nesting dolls.


Get them here.

Listening to planes

In the early years of flying, before they invented the radar as we know it, detecting planes from the distance could be a real bitch sometimes. The army used all kinds of acoustic location devices.


Above is a picture of a two-horn acoustic location system at Bolling Field, USA, in 1921.

Read more about Acoustic Location and Sound Mirrors.

Knight Rider theme on the flute

Not the Banghra version. The original one, played by a guy on a flute and another guy beat boxing and adding the bass. Sounds just like the original.

Watch video


Thanks Reea

Octopuses in love

To escape the clutches of a skilled cook, two octopuses engage in a burlesque race. Yet despite they successfully escape their fatal destiny, their struggle to stay together does not seem to get to an end.

A really beautiful short animation about the power of love, with a great ending.

Watch video [via]

Georgia on my mind...

More















More Georgia satirical cartoons.

[credits,